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Bad Boys-- Whatcha Gonna Do?

9/8/2017

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Offenders for the week ending September 8, 2017:
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"And that's how I got in trouble in the first place..."
#3 BRAD PITT
Hey-- Brad's sorry that he cheated on Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie. Really, Captain Obvious?!?! Going through a bit of Hell, are we? Now that you're feeling the wrath of Angie, you now know what it's like to be treated like a piece of garbage. An insider claims Brad reached out to Jen earlier this week, but that doesn't mean he wants to re-insert himself into her life. 

                                                                       Good.

Rumor has it that Brad and Angie are going to give their relationship another try for the sake of the kids. Awesome. But y'all best check your issues before you proceed. Cuz if they ain't gone, they'll just resurface.

P.S. Do you feel like this is a bit of Karma coming back to bite your sack? 

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Exactly.
#2 JON GOSSELIN
While Kim Jong-un is a disgrace to the North Korean folk, Jon is certainly in the running to be the ruination of South Korean folk. This fat, lazy POS has no J.O.B. and now he wants OUR help to pay his $30,000 in court fees incurred during his battle with ex-albatross, Kate. So, his girlfriend has started a GoFundMe campaign which is hoping to play on the sympathies of us fine people:

"The family and friends of Jon Gosselin know the loving, caring, devoted father that he is, and they understand his desire to do what is best for his children... Jon works hard each day and most weekends, wanting nothing more than to spend quality time with his kids." 

Boo-effing-hoo! Then ask your damn peeps for a loan! His main complaint is that his ex makes all that reality/entertainment money, and he's struggling. Dude-- you used to be an engineer. AN ENGINEER! He had another engineering job once the Kate Plus 8 train derailed, but he left that job because of the pressure of being "known." So, dude tried to be club DJ and exotic dancer.

There is some charity involved here-- any extra money raised will go to a children's home in Pennsylvania. While that's cool and all, put your damn hand back in your damn pocket!

By the way, you're out of the Korean club, you fool!

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"Hey, Oz-- your conscience is calling..."
#1 OZZY OSBOURNE
Maybe Blizzard of Oz is referring to that thang in his pants? Which is a visual I'm sorry to have produced in your mind... Wife Sharon is opening up about his infidelities. Ozzy was making nice with his hairstylist AND many others:

                              "There wasn't just one woman, there were six of them." 

Vurp. And who were they?:

"Some f*cking Russian teenager, then a masseuse in England... our masseuse in L.A.-- and then, our cook."

Apparently, anyone that touches or feeds this toolbag might get some "bangers-and-mash." Sheesh. The cheating alone makes him an idiot, but this-- this makes him the King of Idiots:

"(We were sitting on the couch) he sends me this email. (I asked him) 'Why did you send me this stupid email?' Ozzy told me he hadn't sent me anything, I grabbed his phone and said 'Look!' And of course it was a message meant for one of his bloody women."

Oh, Ozzy. When you're trying to keep things on the D.L., double-check your "work." Or was your f*ck up your subconscious saying to you: "Stop being an idiot!"

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