OFFENSE: Brainless 'beauties'
It's on, bitches! Kylie (on the right) hates her sister Kendall (on the left) because waaaaay back when they were little girls, Kendall cut Kylie's hair really short! Apparently, she's no longer traumatized cuz she's sportin' a shorter 'do. But don't let that B.S. story mask the true reason for her burning hatred-- Momager monster Kris has publicly declared that she is turning her focus from Kim to Kendall-- with the belief that Kendall could be the next Audrey Hepburn. HA HA HA HA HA HA! Really, this entire family should get into comedy. With that aside, I believe the sisters should just catfight it out for momma's attention. But they're probably too lazy for that. Let's have someone else fight on their behalf. I say Jon Gosselin vs. Dustin Diamond. Hey, they both need jobs.
OFFENSE: Bad naked
Miley and her beau-- Patrick Schwarzenegger-- were frolicking in the ocean while vacationing in Hawaii. She, of course, was topless. That's great, because you can save time not having to do extra laundry. But seriously. That's not the problem. That toxic-waste crotch of yours is a problem and could constitute some kind of hazardous spill in the Pacific Ocean. Worse than the Exxon Valdez. Somebody fine this nuisance! She's killing off marine life!
P.S. Best get some sunscreen on them cheese nips, girl, before they look like dried cherries.
Why is this Crypt Keeper still on TV? She's threatening to leave the Today show because she's upset at NBC News honcho Deb Turness. I guess boss lady refused to air Kathie Lee's 18-minute musical before the live broadcast of Peter Pan. Egads! Good for Deb! The only time Kathie Lee was interesting was when her Hall of Fame Fossil Frank Gifford cheated on her with an airline stewardess last century. I think she should go back to doing those Carnival Cruise commercials. She could then fall overboard... into the Bermuda Triangle... GONE FOREVER! Maybe that's just my fantasy...