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A Bunch of Bags...

5/22/2015

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Offenders for the week of May 18, 2015: 
*As a nod to the upcoming holiday weekend where people will be officially grillin' and chillin', I've concocted an adult beverage for each celeb on the list. Cheers!
Picture
"I'm a cranky jackass..."

#3 BILL O'REILLY
OFFENSE: Douchebag

This loudmouthed talking head is accused of assaulting his wife in 2010 by dragging her down a staircase-- by her neck. He claims it's false. But his daughter says she witnessed the attack. 

To use your own words: Caution: You are about to enter the No-Spin Zone!

Or is your denial actually spin? Get your anger in check, frump face, or you're gonna lose whatever credibility you may have left. Let's rename your show The O'Slimy Factor.

Drink of Choice: WrinkledPlumSack Wine

                                  (crickets)                                                                                "Feel my pain.."
#2 KANYE WEST
OFFENSE: Windbag

Nice performance at the Billboard Music Awards, Yeezy.  That's right. Your performance was so profane that it had to be bleeped. And it was bleeped so often that there were looooong stretches of silence. Silence, of course, which you've incessantly bitched about saying it was unecessary and unwarranted. (By the way, I'm not buying that you actually came up with those big words on your own.)

HA HA HA HA! Go eat an extra large bag for your extra large ego!

First, I applaud the tech crew. There was so much fog on stage, we could barely see your Mushmouth-ass performing your "masterpieces". 

Second, and most importantly, thanks to the producers who bleeped your performance. Because silence is the best way to listen to your drivel. 

Drink of Choice: Over-sized Mudslide

Picture
"So glad I'm airing this thing out..."
#1 KE$HA
OFFENSE: Wenchbag
She's definitely no longer in touch with the common folk. The pop star who lovingly shared her weight and self-image issues, glitter bombs and 5-day old makeup, and admitted to drinking her own pee is now... a complete diva bitch. 

While on her tour of college campuses, the "singer" refuses to take selfies with her fans-- or sign autographs. Her handlers at least know the dealio. They told her to suck-it-up. But, their words fell on deaf ears. She even threatened to call the cops if her fans didn't stop bothering her! 

Note: If you've slipped to doing a college tour, you best get your 'tude in check. Before you know it, you'll be playing the Armpit County Fair... which you'd probably enjoy because the smell of fried foods and redneck crotch sweat reminds you of Home Sweet Home. Be grateful anyone still cares about your "fine beats" and lyrical wimp-ess.

Drink of Choice: WhiteTrash Tini

PHOTO CREDIT: 
Bill O'Reilly: https://www.flickr.com/photos/donkeyhotey/
Kanye West: https://www.flickr.com/photos/jasonpersse/
Ke$ha: https://www.flickr.com/photos/becky-sullivan/
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    I lovingly call out celebs for their naughty behavior. Sometimes a 'slap' is a needed wake-up call. ;)

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