If the boat is a rockin'...
You may be on vacation, but you need to be on your best behavior, nonetheless. Just ask German couple Renate and Volker. They were having a fabulous time aboard their TUI Cruises ship. Until things got hot and heavy, and loud.... as in, the-motion-of-the-ocean-is-matching-the-motion-of-these-bedsprings...
Apparently, the couple's cries of passion, followed by an equally-boisterous argument led to the couple getting das boot from the boat. (Doesn't the arguing usually happen before the sexual healing? wink wink) Of course, they're suing for vacation costs, and emotional damages.
If the boat is a rockin'...
I love Fall. It's my favorite season for a number of reasons: the colors; the cooler temps; the flavors (not pumpkin spice.) But I don't love Fall like this guy loves Fall.
A British man was busted for bustin' a nasty move with a pile of leaves...
Yup. Michael Golsorkhi was makin' the love with a pile of leaves in a restaurant parking lot. He was spotted with his trousers around his ankles, thrusting around-- in full view of families trying to eat dinner.
The 26-year-old was under the influence of some substances, and has been in trouble with the law before.
I can only imagine his pillow talk:
"You like how I rake them leaves, baby?"
"Oh, yeah. Your leaf fort is turning me on."
"I got your Fall cleanup right here..."
Who doesn't sit around a la birthday suit while enjoying and adult beverage? Usually, that's an activity done in the serenity of one's own homestead. But in England, the historic Coach and Horses pub is making more history. It's the first pub in the city in London to be granted a nudist license.
There are some rules, though. The nudity has to be pre-arranged and consensual, and occur on specific occasions. All that sticking to leather and vinyl chairs... Maybe they're made of wood?
We hear the term so often nowadays: Self-Care. We're just not taking the time to make time with ourselves... We're not talking about the old-fashioned tradition of Rosie Palm and Her Five Sisters. Pffft... We're talking about a jacuzzi, for "the boys."
There is a for-real product available on December 9th just for the boys, er, dudes-- the Testicuzzi. "One dunk of the boys into this fine testicle jacuzzi is sure to tickle your fancy and soothe your manliness.
Instead of a partner's face, or some rando coffee mug, you can tea-bag this. For just $39.95. Or the $10,000 limited-edition gold-plated version.
That's just nuts...
There's nothing worse than getting thieved. Thieves should be publicly slapped. Get a J-O-B and then buy your own stuff! But this thief got what he wanted?
A North Carolina residence was robbed of jewelry, coins, and... a 12-inch electric vibrating wand, for funsies...
So. Many. Questions:
So, were these items all hangin' out with each other in the nightstand drawer?
Or was this an inside job, so to speak? Because the items stolen were quite specific.
Was the vibrating item mistaken for another type of massager?
Was said item used?
Hide your women. Hide your children. Hide your "toys"...
The customer is always right. At least that's how so many people try to justify their rude-ass behavior to anyone in the service industry. But I digress. Customer satisfaction is important, even when you're buying the services of a prostitute.
Michael Pratt decided to spend some time with a pro at a Baton Rouge motel-- rightfully named Shades. But he didn't feel he got what he paid for, so he asked for his money back. If that's not bad enough, this tale (or is it tail?) takes another turn when the hooker than called police to complain that her client asked for his money back, and because the 61-year-old "got aggressive."
Police arrived to the shady motel and arrested the dude for soliciting prostitution, while the said prostitute was arrested for hooker-ing and drug-related charges.
Must be hard to find good service these days...
Men don't need humans (or furry friends-- just sayin;) when there's a ball for all-- the Masturball.
The Optimum Power Masturball looks like a Magic 8 Ball, but with internal grippy things for your grippy thing. Just put your sausage in the ball and pretend like you're scrubbin'-off some skank juice. There are 10 different settings, so you can set it and go, so to speak.
Find your latest self-love device on Amazon for $79.99.
P.S. You know the price should've been $69.99, right? LOL
It's challenging enough being a college student. There's fear of the "Freshman 15". There's fear of STDs. There's fear of having the ability to survive a frat party without being arrested. And now, foul fish.
A new study has found that college students may be OD-ing on tuna. Students are eating so much Chicken of the Sea (and other canned tunas) that they're risking mercury poisoning. Half of students surveyed are eating tuna at least three times a week. A crazy 7% are eating 20 tuna-based meals a week.
You're better off with Ramen poisoning. Or Easy Mac overload. WTH is wrong with our youth? LOL
The End Times are near. Because common sense is *this* close to being extinct. And this proves it. Doctors are warning women to not put wasps nests in their Venus Flysnatch.
Why would a lady want a nest in her ladyparts!?!? Because, it's "holistic." Or is that hole-istic? Some fools online claim oak galls-- which are the nests that house the eggs and larva of wasps-- help to rejuvenate the jayjay. While proponents claim the stinging sensation is beneficial, doctors say anything that stings and burns is not good for the cookie jar.
And this is yet another example why you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet.
Cucumber are summer refreshing. Cucumber salad, plain ol' cucumbers, spicy cucumbers, cucumbers in the cooch... What?
A Thai woman sought medical treatment after she experienced pain after a fall-- on top of a cucumber. She said she was in her kitchen doing her thing, when she fell on the phallic-shaped vaggie, er, veggie. Doctors dismissed her "story", and relieved her discomfort without question.
I've heard that you can slip on a banana peel, but falling on a cucumber? Oh, girl. Just raise your hand...
About The "V" Spot...
Welcome to what's floating around in my mind. Some serious. Some silly. But all me. You've been warned...