Check out what's hittin' the spot this time...
Men and their hair. I totally understand the anxiety over balding. We women have anxiety over everything, so... While genetics come into play regarding baldness, so does how often you spank the monkey.
Yes. Beating the bishop can be a cause of hair loss. But before you freak out, Dr. Umear Ahmad, a hair transplant specialist, says you'd have to be flogging the dolphin 24/7. For realz. I'm calling B.S. on this. What dude can even focus long enough to whack it 24/7? Exactly. We suggest you don't try this at home to find out if his theory is true.
Teenie & Terrific!
Though men have historically skewed the measurement system to their advantage, not every man has a python in his pants. So why not celebrate the neolate!
That's right! Teenie Weenies are getting a small standing ovation via the new dating app:Dinky One.
The goal is to "normalize" men whose fruit bowl contains a plantain and not a banana.
"There are (those) who just prefer a smaller penis for comfort reasons... smaller men tend to compensate for size with additional skills..."
Dong is in the eye of the beholder... and that may really be true... what?
We hear the term so often nowadays: Self-Care. We're just not taking the time to make time with ourselves... We're not talking about the old-fashioned tradition of Rosie Palm and Her Five Sisters. Pffft... We're talking about a jacuzzi, for "the boys."
There is a for-real product available on December 9th just for the boys, er, dudes-- the Testicuzzi. "One dunk of the boys into this fine testicle jacuzzi is sure to tickle your fancy and soothe your manliness.
Instead of a partner's face, or some rando coffee mug, you can tea-bag this. For just $39.95. Or the $10,000 limited-edition gold-plated version.
That's just nuts...
Men don't need humans (or furry friends-- just sayin;) when there's a ball for all-- the Masturball.
The Optimum Power Masturball looks like a Magic 8 Ball, but with internal grippy things for your grippy thing. Just put your sausage in the ball and pretend like you're scrubbin'-off some skank juice. There are 10 different settings, so you can set it and go, so to speak.
Find your latest self-love device on Amazon for $79.99.
P.S. You know the price should've been $69.99, right? LOL
"Fruit Bowl" Care
It can be tough being a dude. Dudes aren't known to be the tidiest creatures around. Have you seen some of their abodes? So, it's no surprise that when it comes to being tidy... down there... issues can happen.
Men, beware of Pineapple Penis.
What in the AF is P. P.? Well, it happens when a dude shaves the base, and then as re-growth occurs, things get... stubbly-- like the pricks on a pineapple.
You fellas need to treat you woolly mammoth kindly. Don't accidentally chop the base or lop a coconut. You're not in a rain forest. Or are you?
Rooster See Rooster Do
Guys, if you want a cock-eyed view of what your doodle doo sees, then you need (?) The CockCam.
It was created to "spice things up" in the bedroom. Really? We're thinking there are gonna be a lot of fuzz...y... shots. Unless your schlong reaches jump rope length, all we're gonna see is some blurry cavernous regions and mistake your footage for the Grand Canyon.
The company says it's:
"A revolutionary sex toy that allows you to record all of your erotic moments at never seen before angles, store and view videos on your mobile device through the Secure Mobile App, taking your sexy home videos to the next level."
Again, unless you have a tricky dickey... what amazing angles and video will occur?
Talk about up close and personal...
About The "V" Spot...
Welcome to what's floating around in my mind. Some serious. Some silly. But all me. You've been warned...