Offbeat News and Observation From Writer Kathy Vogel

Flying V

12/9/2020

Check out what's hittin' the spot this time...

You really are "flying the friendly skies" with this flight attendant. Cuz she's offering more than a bag of peanuts on your trip. How 'bout some panties-- used or unused?

via GIPHY

A British Airways air hostess took some risque photos while in uniform, while in-flight to lure prospective customers with her extra services. For a mere $30 one can own her panties; for $66 (What? No '69') you can meet up with per post-flight:

"If you ever want adult entertainment on-board, all you have to do is give me a sum of money and you'll be treated to a whole (or is that hole) different experience of your choice"

While some are calling her a prostitute (So properly British. I'd call her a Mile High Ho), others are saying this is an example of how staff can't afford to live off of their wages from the airline.

Some airlines she could work for:
jetBlo
Queefer Airways
Areola Float
All Nipple Airways
Aer (cuni)Lingus
Southoftheborder Airlines

Wonderful Wedgie

4/8/2020

Who knew that flying was such a gas? If you don't have time to excuse yourself to the bathroom to rip one (as to not olfactory assault your seat mate) then shove a banana in your butt.

via GIPHY

Well, not an actual banana... the Shreddies Carbonana absorbs your carbon emissions, so nobody nose. The wedge comes in black or white and fits like a bed wedge-- you know, so your (fart) pillow won't fall to the floor...

Go ahead a load up on tacos, beans, or whatever before that next flight!

Sunny Side Out

7/3/2019

As my parents say: "Things were different way back when." Way-back-when, when people went out into public, they put on their best duds. My dad told me as a kid, you always wore your "good clothes" wherever you went-- no matter the season. So if it were a hot, sunny, summer day and you were going to the ball game or amusement park, you wore slacks and collared shirts, and proper shoes.

Now, we're all about comfort. Livin' our "best lives" with our "f&ck everyone" attitude.

I want to be comfortable when I travel-- especially air travel, where I know I'm going to need to take my shoes off and possibly get frisked. Not once have I worn yoga pants, see-my-womb-shorts, or my see-through top.

via GIPHY

On an EasyJet flight from Spain to London, Harriet Osbourne was kicked off the flight. Not because the "headlights" were on and fully visible, but because of her disruptive behavior-- even after she agreed to wear another top. While the airline claims she was acting poorly, Harriet says she was an innocent victim of harassment:

"The crew were horrible and made me feel cheap. This air hostess confronted me in front of the whole plane and said I wasn't allowed on in that top... she tried to cover me up with my hands."

Perhaps we're all missing something. She may have been a late-addition to the crew. A real-life demonstration of the "flotation devices" in case of a water landing.

A couple of other things:

1. She nip-slipped by the TNA, I mean, TSA? Those people live for situations like this one. Way to drop the (blue) ball.

2. Or maybe that was her TSA strategy: "I'm not a terrorist. See? I've got nothing to hide."

3. Am I the only one that is LOL-ing over the irony of the airline name?

Dr. "No"vago

3/27/2019

The Russians bring so much entertainment. Whether it's all that awesome dashcam video, or stupid stunts that go way wrong on Fail Army, our bitter enemies know how to make headlines.

A Russian man was recently detained and then hospitalized (good move) after he tried to board a commercial airline flight-- totally naked. Dude was at the boarding gate, fully clothed. Then, he took off all his clothes and stood in the boarding line. Why? According to a witness, the man said:

"... because clothing impairs the aerodynamics of the body. He flies with more agility when undressed."

We're not sure if he thought he was going to fly next to the plane? Or perhaps he was trying to also help with the weight load. Cuz when I want to feel like less of a fat-ass, I take off all my clothes before I weigh myself. The sweatshirt and yoga pants are a good two pounds right there!

#FlyTheNakedSkies

A Baker's Dozen...

3/7/2018

Of "air biscuits"!

Air travel is painful enough. Let alone when some testicle beater on your flight decides to stank up the enclosed area with their ass ocarina symphony. Some dude on a flight to Amsterdam from Dubai refused to put a cork in it when asked by his two Dutch victims to stop with the fart attack.

Then, things went south. The flight crew was useless, so a fight broke out and the pilot had to turn the plane around. If you're nervous about flying, take something ahead of time!

Perhaps airlines need to hand out bottles of Beano with those snacks before someone shoves those Stroopwafels up someone's stink emitter.

Fart the friendly skies...

PHOTO CREDIT:
www.giphy.com

Flying V

Wonderful Wedgie

Sunny Side Out

Dr. "No"vago

A Baker's Dozen...

About The "V" Spot...

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