Sometimes-- okay, most times-- you just have to shake your head. Like with this fish tale...
"It was just a joke at first. My friend was filming so I wanted to impress him and put my d*ck into the clam, but then it just wouldn't let go."
This is just all kinds of stupid. Couldn't imagine my life being dic(k)tated by the divining (diving) rod.
But... it gets even better. Because Mister Dumb$ss is allergic to seafood, he developed a severe allergic reaction after his encounter. Which meant a hospital stay.
(Bearded) Clams, anyone?