Guess what cavity the eyeballs were hiding in? If you preview the above equation, you'll know exactly which end.
Police quickly cuffed Talbot because they feared he was some sort of serial killer. Why would one hide eyeballs in their heiney?
Perhaps he just wanted to see you coming and going? Maybe he's testing a prototype rearview camera for his people? I've been threatening to design an acceptable 'man purse' for years. Anything is more acceptable than using your tush for a storage unit.
Tilbott confessed to stealing the cow eyes from Johnson Meats (I didn't make that up, seriously.) He was upset that his employer didn't allow employees to take home scraps, and he really, really, really, needed the cow eyeballs... for his special soup.
Yes, soup. See, Tilbott has a recipe for a soup that cures erectile dysfunction-- and the main ingredient is cow eyeballs.
"Love this Matzo (eye) ball soup! Flavorful, with a hint of Colon-tra..."
I could see this drunken fool trying to sell this crap:
"If your weiner's getting flat/A bowl of balls will bring it back."
P.S. He had 30 eyeballs in his ass. 30!
P.S.S. Talk about giving someone the "stink eye"...
P.S.S.S. Feel free to add your own horrible puns below...
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