Yet another story from the "Glad-I-Don't-Have-a-Wiener" file... The things males will do when it comes to spanking the monkey-- using abanana peel as a "helping hand"...
One Reddit poster regaled readers with his near-death experience after making the sweet love to the innards of a banana peel. Not from the peel itself, but from the known-but-forgotten slipperiness of banana peel ooze. Guess this guy worked up such a later that it ran down his legs, and when he went to the bathroom to clean up, he slipped on the banana peel juice and banged... his head... on the toilet seat (the Northern head).
Men don't need humans (or furry friends-- just sayin;) when there's a ball for all-- the Masturball.
The Optimum Power Masturball looks like a Magic 8 Ball, but with internal grippy things for your grippy thing. Just put your sausage in the ball and pretend like you're scrubbin'-off some skank juice. There are 10 different settings, so you can set it and go, so to speak.
Find your latest self-love device on Amazon for $79.99.
P.S. You know the price should've been $69.99, right? LOL
"Shaking hands with the unemployed" will get you fined.
Texas State Representative Jessica Farrar has filed legislation that would fine men $100 for "spanking the monkey" unless they're doing it in a "sanctioned session at a hospital or clinic." The crime would be considered an "act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life."
Do you know how man broke men will be wandering the streets!?!?
Also, I doubt there's some soul in Heaven looking down at some guy in his mom's basement saying: "Damnit! That was me! That was me!" Doesn't "life" happen when egg and sperm meet? Can't have it without both parts. Not yet, at least.
So what's Farrar's rationale behind her legislation?
"A lot of people find the bill funny. What's not funny are the obstacles Texas women face every day (concerning access to healthcare.)"
Okay... What if someone "handles" things for the male? (gulp) Do they all get fined?!?!?!
I get it. But targeting men is not the answer. Are we gonna bust women after they've pressed the "love button"? Because after a solo session they won't be in the mood to procreate.
Look, there's enough B.S. legislation clogging up the system already.
Just let it go... grab a sandwich, and take a nap.
About The "V" Spot...
Welcome to what's floating around in my mind. Some serious. Some silly. But all me. You've been warned...