He was so embarrassed, he told no one of his bad-ass decision. After a few days of pain, he crawled to the hospital for treatment. Doctors were stunned at his message in a bottle:
"I have never seen something like this in my entire career so far."
The patient was placed under observation for two days because:
"He still has tears caused by the bottle and it is causing discomfort."
I choose to see the word "tears" in the quote as in ripping and actual tears in this idiot's eyes.
How do you live this down? Carefully, I suppose...