You couldn't find a Walmart parking lot for this?
Carnal desires. Sometimes they just can't be controlled. So when one is feelin' frisky, one must act. Even if it's in the backseat of a parked car.
Oh. And that car was parked illegally... right outside a police station. In a "municipal vehicles only" parking spot. An officer spotted the car, the fogged windows, and the two 20-somethings bumpin' uglies. The couple, from Michigan (that explains everything), has been charged with disorderly conduct.
You couldn't find a Walmart parking lot for this?
Guys, if you want a cock-eyed view of what your doodle doo sees, then you need (?) The CockCam.
It was created to "spice things up" in the bedroom. Really? We're thinking there are gonna be a lot of fuzz...y... shots. Unless your schlong reaches jump rope length, all we're gonna see is some blurry cavernous regions and mistake your footage for the Grand Canyon.
The company says it's:
"A revolutionary sex toy that allows you to record all of your erotic moments at never seen before angles, store and view videos on your mobile device through the Secure Mobile App, taking your sexy home videos to the next level."
Again, unless you have a tricky dickey... what amazing angles and video will occur?
Talk about up close and personal...
Leave it to the Russians to come up with a new sporting event that we can all "get behind":
Booty Slapping Championship
The inaugural event took place a few weeks ago in Siberia. This is how it works: female competitors spank each other as hard as possible, with the goal of making the spankee take a step forward.
For all you pervs out there, keep the drawbridge down. The women were fully clothed-- and many were fitness competitors. IE: Have good personalities. Booty Slapping was part of the Siberian Power Show-- a two-day extravaganza featuring pole dancing and mass-wrestling. Whatever that is.
A couple of thoughts:
1. Would this be a good Summer or Winter Olympics event?
2. Perhaps BBD's "Do Me!" could be the official theme of this event:
"Smack it up, flip it, rub it down..."
Is is just me, or has this year been particularly bad when it comes to trendy "fashion"? Denim Speedos. Lace man shorts. Tube tops for dudes. Add this one to the list of WTF:
The loincloth bikini.
And who do we have to blame for this? Influencers and A-list celebs on social media. They've been sporting what literally amounts to a string with a piece of fabric hanging off of it. The purpose? To minimize tan lines. Or, if you pull the string up higher on the hips, it looks like you have longer legs.
Who's looking at your effing legs when we're gonna get an eyeful of your full-frontal!?!?
Sigh. Social media. The downfall of the planet.
For some people, a good job, money for retirement and a happy family are what makes for a well-lived life. For others, it's all about internet fame. Case in point, this idiot. A Connecticut man with seven warrants out for his arrest has decided to turn himself in if he gets 15,000 Facebook likes on the police department's post of his criminal behavior.
Police in Torrington, Connecticut, shared a "help wanted" post on its FB page and included a photo of 29-year-old Jose Simms. The dude originally wanted 20,000 likes, but police talked him down to 15,000. As of now, the post has over 29,000 likes.
But Simms is still in the wind. Like a fart. Hope he's eventually apprehended. And given a proper prison greeting.
Forget reality TV. Just get real and get over to Walmart for your entertainment. It doesn't matter what part of town Walmart is in. If it's in Beverly Hills, it's going to attract the most "interesting" people society has to offer.
Our favorite place for weird stories never disappoints-- Florida. Walmart + Florida = gold.
27-year-old Kejuan Mccants was arrested and charged with indecent exposure after tooling around in a store scooter and junk-flashing a customer and employee.
He flashed one victim in the clothing department, and flashed the employee in the home goods department after he complimented her hair. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.
This could all be a big (or not so big) misunderstanding. Perhaps he needed help with where to find the sausage links, so he was showing what he was looking for. Or maybe he wanted the dried fruit section, so he showed his raisins...
Really, you (Mc)can't expose your fruit bowl to others.
Last week I shared with you this "trend", or attempt at a "trend", of eating squirrel meat. Because it's tasty and controls the squirrel population. Ick.
Speaking of ick... the latest food "trend"-- menstrual blood. In foods.
And there are specific reasons for it. Not because you want to be known as the culinary wizard behind On The Rag Ragu... but because you want to keep your man faithful and worshiping the ground you walk on.
One blogger is all for it because this spits in the face of periods being taboo. Periods aren't taboo. Periods effing suck. I hate mine. Every month. I want Mamma Meno to show up because I'm tired of it all. With that said, it ain't cool to sneak some "red" into your man's meal for your underhanded reasons. If you need to rely on "magic" to keep your man, then you're going to be an insecure person your entire life. Here's a thought: invest in your relationship. Put the work in. And if he still walks, then let him. The next one will be better.
P.S. Just because most men will eat anything, they're not dumpsters for our womanly refuse. Let Tampax handle it.
Who couldn't use an extra $11,000? Right?
You just need to hand over your firstborn. Not really your firstborn. Just one of your "borns." And if you really, really love KFC then this should be no problem.
Just agree to name your baby Harland-- as in the Colonel Harland Sanders. And you have to give birth on Sunday-- which is The Colonel's birth date. And then enter the contest. And then hope you win. It's really no different than giving naming rights to family members like some people do. Plus, Harland isn't such a bad name. It is the name of a man who persevered and built his empire during his senior citizen years.
Honestly, here are worst ways to make some cash... So keep this in mind, people of reproducing age. You can make money in the weirdest ways from your offspring.
What in the actual f*ck!?!?
When grown folk need to tinkle and we can't get to a proper relief facility, we hold it. Apparently some choose not to, and decide peeing on the floor is the best option.
While on a Wizz Airlines flight (no joke), a passenger asked if she could use the bathroom while the plane was in refuel mode. She was denied. So she pee-pee-danced to the galley, dropped trou, and let it flow-- while on the phone with a gal pal:
"I asked them (cabin crew) if I could use the toilet, but they said I could not right now. So I am peeing in the galley. Right in front of them."
The "pissy" passenger was also being filmed-- and couldn't care less. In fact, she kept talking on her phone:
"The police are coming because it is my fault. All my fault."
Take a listen:
"Follow the yellow piss road with Wizz Airlines!"
What is it with the Chinese and their predilection for putting things where they don't belong? Like eels in the "backdoor storage unit"... and a USB cable in the "spring roll."
A 13-year-old boy in China decided one day that sticking a 20 centimeters-long USB cable in his "skin flute" would be a titillating idea. After a few moments he realized this was not his best-laid plan and tried to reverse the action. Sadly, he failed. Imagine having to tell your mom and pops that you need to visit the ER for your plug-in fail.
A urologist tried to work his magic:
"... The cable reached his bladder, where it tangled and ended up in a knot, so when he tried to pull it back out, it became stuck."
I feel bad for the kid, but at least a truth has been verified: My mother told me to never marry an Asian man because they are cheap and...
have small... weens.
If the cable is 20 centimeters (which is 7.87 inches), and it gets bunched before you reach the end, then...
20 cm + knotted cable = small ween
P.S. Guess this kid took the concept of a personal charger a bit too far, no?
About The "V" Spot...
Welcome to what's floating around in my mind. Some serious. Some silly. But all me. You've been warned...