Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior - Haus of V

Non-Sense

7/29/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 29th, 2022:

#3 NICK CANNON

Super Sperm Shooter Nick welcomed his 8th baby this week. His. Eighth. Congrats! It is a happy occasion for Nick, considering he lost a child earlier this year. But... let's talk about your going all Biblical and being fruitful and multiplying. Nowhere in the Good Book does it say "Nick. Go bang a bunch of ladies cuz the planet Earth needs you."

At first, Nick had publicly stated that his large children count is because of his baby mommas (multiple) making the decision to have his children. He said it was on therm. Then, he changed his tune, saying that the situation is more like "consensual non-monogamy."

Pfft. More like: "I'm a manho with an ego."

Hey, dumbass. It's called 18-years of you paying up, sucka!

Sure, these women want to be moms. And they want to be paid. So, you best keep working your ass off to pay for 8 children (or more) for a long time.

#2 LORI LOUGHLIN

"Aunt Becky" says life has been so strange since she got out of prison for her part in the Varsity Blues Scandal. You know, where she bribed and lied her daughter Jade's way into college. It's so hard that people thought she was a complete bitchbag for doing what she did. But everyone has been so kind now that she's on her mea culpa tour. She recently made her first public appearance at the "Lead With Love 3" telethon for the charity that helps combat food insecurity. She said:

"(the group)... welcomed me with such open arms at a time when I was feeling particularly down and broken."

Yes, two whole months in a cushy prison was soooo hard. Thing is, you're still rich. You get to go back making your stupid Hallmark movies. And your stupider daughter not only never wanted to go to college, but makes bank being an influencer. This is why the world is one step away from being Hell. Which you can go to anytime.

#1 BEN DREYFUSS

This son of... Richard is everything you hate about the offspring of the rich and famous. He felt the need to open his mouth and tweet about that one time he paid a drug addict $50 so that he could be hunted through the woods like some brokedown Hunger Games. But it's cool, because he was using a paintball gun. Who in the af are you, dude? Seriously. You think it's great sport to torture and humiliate human beings who are in a bad place, who don't have your privelege, and who could use compassion and the opportunities your wealth can afford.

What's even worse? When people called him out for his tweet, he in turn called them "little babies." Then, he tried to play it cool, like nothing was offensive about the situation.

Pieces of sh*t come from all walks of life. This is why some animals eat their young.

Ben(d) over. I've got a place for you to stick that $50.

Bullseye

7/22/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 22nd, 2022:

#3 KYLIE JENNER

The privileged folk continue to trigger the poor folk 24/7. Kyle is being labeled a "climate criminal" for a social media post with Travis Scott involving his & hers private jets. So, she tried to make it all better by posting a picture of herself pushing her daughter and nieces in a shopping cart at Target. Well, that just made things worse. Some commented:

"Did u rent out Target for this”
“playing normal life simulator”
“trying to appeal to us peasants”
“out of touch"

Yes, she's out of touch. But I'm slapping Kylie not because of her wealth, but because she tried to downplay it. Girl, you have "eff you" money. Don't pretend like you're one of us going to Target. BUY the damn Target!.

And remember to bow down to Kim's golden jay jay every night, or you'd probably be working at Target.

#2 MEGHAN KING, former reality TV star and current, perpetual idiot

This bish gives dingbats a bad name. At least dingbats are mostly lovable. This one is just... extra dumb. You may not recall, but she married Prez Biden's nephew, Cuffe Biden Owens for, like, two seconds last year after they dated for four seconds. During a recent podcast interview, Mizz Dingbat said it wasn't her idea to get married in the first place, and that she was confused:

“I was very confused by the whole [relationship], but I’m just glad that it was short and sweet and it’s done and it’s annulled.”

She said marriage was important to Cuffe, and that she wants everyone to be happy, so... she said "I do."

The f&ck?

This was her second marriage. And now she's dating again. Please, don't tie the knot again. Unless that knot is connected to a cinder block that will sink to the bottom of the ocean.

#1 CHRIS BROWN

No, Chris didn't make the list because he smacked somebody around (for once.) He's made the list because not only is he a beater, he's a cheater, too-- as in rip-off artist. LeJuan Bailey is accusing the singer of taking a $1.1-million performance fee for a hurricane benefit concert that he never showed up to perform. He claims that Chris accepted the wire transfer, then peaced-out at the last minute. He said:

“I acted in good faith and sponsored this concert out of love and respect for residents in need. I am appalled that Chris Brown refuses to refund my money for a show he did not appear to after we announced our show and sold tickets. At this point, it is my humble belief that Chris Brown’s actions are parallel to pure theft. He has the unmitigated gall to take my money, stand up the residents of Houston, then return to the city to perform on August 17, 2022.”

Straight up!

Not surprising, honestly.

P.S. Shame on you, LeJuan, for even wanting to pay this guy money to perform at your event. He's a known POS. And you giving him a stage gives him more false hope that he's not a mega turdball. So, mini-slap for you.

Shahhead

7/15/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending July 15th, 2022:

#3 KIM KARDASHIAN

I get it. We women have done all kinds of things for the sake of fashion, or beauty. And frankly, it's all bullsh*t. Kimmie needed to lose 16 pounds in three weeks to wear the infamous Marilyn Monroe-sings-happy-birthday-Mr. President dress. And why was this necessary? Why would you want to wear the exact same dress Marilyn did? It should be in a museum, not amongst us getting destroyed (as it did). Wear a damn replica! Anywho, it seems she ditched her vegetarian diet and ate meat to lose the weight. But that caused her more harm than good. She said:

"Psoriasis broke out over my body and I got psoriatic arthritis. I couldn't really move my hands. I was freaking out!"

Which is why she ditched meat in the first friggin' place!

How effed up is Hollywood that someone would willingly subject themselves to for some fleeting press and a couple of good pics for the socials? Kimster got better after a steroid shot and ditching the meat.

Lame. So. Lame.

#2 DOJA CAT

First of all, with a name like "Doja Cat" you have to be a complete asshat. But who am I? Just some schulb over here thinking there aren't enough minutes in the day to slap all these fools. Anywho, The Cat is mad at Noah Schnapp, who plays Will on Stranger Things. Why would she be mad at a 17-year-old kid star? Well, because she reached out to him because she wants co-star Joseph Quinn (who played Eddie Muson) to "pet her kitty." And Noah shared screenshots of the DMs to all the world. Doja got her claws out:

“That's like borderline snake s***. That's like weasel s***. I'm not saying that encapsulates his entire personality. I made an assumption that he was gonna be chill about it and he went and shared information that I didn’t feel comfortable with him sharing."

Here's a thought: when you messaged him, you should've asked him to keep things private. That's what adults do. Which you supposedly are. All of social media defended Noah, but Doja came for everybody.

Why is this bish famous? Seriously.

Also, you're 26 years old. You can certainly catch "D" all on your own. Without the help, again, of a 17-year-old!

#1 JEN SHAH, Cast Member/Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

HA HA HA! We all knew she was a guilty, scamming twatbag and now she's admitted it. After a year of proclaiming her innocence, this reality TV "star" entered a guilty plea in federal court. What did she do? Scam the elderly out of their money, while flaunting her ill-gotten wealth on a reality TV show. Dumbass.

Yup. She said she committed "wire fraud, offering services with little to no value" and:

"We used interstate telephones and emails. I knew many of the purchasers were over the age of 55. I am so sorry."

The reason why she entered a plea was not because of the overwhelming guilty she felt being a complete douche, but because she offered to not appeal her sentence if she received 14 years or less. Because she faces 30 years in prison. Damn. She's also agreed to forfeit $6 million, and to pay restitution in the amount of $9 million.

It seems like she should owe more than that...

Guess you're not so "Shaw-mazing" after all. Bye!

In The Jail Cell

7/8/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending July 8th, 2022:

#3, #2, #1 R. KELLY

It's about damn time that this Ultimate POS finally gets what he deserves. Well, what he can get legally. Because I believe we collectively would have a variety of punishments we'd like to unlegally dole out to this fool. Selling more than 75 million records, winning three Grammys, and making a pile won't keep this pile of crap from a prison cell. He was recently sentenced to 30 years in prison for sex trafficking and violating the Mann Act-- which makes it illegal to take a person across state lines

"for any immoral purpose."

This phlegm ball has used his fame and fortune to prey on children and young women for sexual gratification. Judge Ann Donnelly told R (for rapist):

"This case is not about sex. It’s about violence and cruelty and control. These victims were disposable to you…you taught them that love is enslavement and violence and humiliation.”

Oh, but that's not all. He's set to stand trial in Chicago federal court on child porn and obstruction of justice charges in August.

Since this fungus is 55-years-old, he will (fingers crossed) spend the rest of his life in prison.

May the soap be slippery.

Popped

6/24/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending June 24th, 2022:

#3 BRANDON BLACKSTOCK

Breaking up is hard to do. Especially when your soon-to-be ex is a succubus. I always had a vomit-a-little-in-my-mouth feeling when Kelly Clarkson married one of her managers. I felt like he was more interested in her assets than her ass. And guess what? Yup! After a few years of marriage, the two split during the lockdown. And then he wanted so much of her money in the divorce. A source says:

"He's a constant thorn in her side."

No sh&t! With a $115,000 per month in spousal support until 2024, yes, that's a whole damn rosebush of thorns! Some good news, Mr. Dickstock finally moved out of Kelly's ranch in Montana. It only took two years.

But she still has to pay child support to him for the one weekend per month that he gets the two kids. That's costing her $45,601 per month.

P.S. I wonder if she thinks of her douchebag ex when she sings "Since You've Been Gone"?

#2 PAUL HAGGIS

Being in any aspect of the entertainment business is like swimming in toxic waste. So many unsavory characters looking to feast on prey. Guess this Oscar-award winning actor needs added to the list. He's been arrested in Ostuni, Italy on charges of sexual assault and aggravated personal injury. A woman is accusing him of forcing her to have sex with him over the course of two days. Two. Days?

His attorney says he's not a rape-r:

"I am confident that all allegations will be dismissed against Mr. Haggis. He is totally innocent and willing to fully cooperate with the authorities so the truth comes out quickly.”

Okay. Side note: Haggard was sued in 2018 by a woman alleging he had violently raped her in her New York apartment in 2013. Three more women came forward with different allegations.

With a name like "haggis," this dude was destined to be problematic.

#1 BILL COSBY

Pay up, sucka!

Judy Huth has won her civil suit against this ass hat for sexually assaulting her at the Playboy Mansion in 1975 when she was just 16-years-old. She was awarded $500,000 in damages.

Of course, Cospuke's attorney felt this was all a pile of crap"

“(It's a) 50-year-old, he-said-she-said case.”

And this is why so many sexual assaults do not make it to charges.

There aren't enough slaps in the world for this creep. Ever.

Summer of Not George

6/17/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending June 17th, 2022:

#3 JOHNNY DEPP & AMBER HEARD

You two are less-than-stellar individuals that were each "victims" of your own toxicity. Please. Go. Away. And Amber-- stop going on TV to talk about your sh*t. Literally. Your dog stepped on a bee...

#2 SHANNA MOAKLER

Travis Barker's hot-mess-express-ex has been accused of being a craptastic parent, and now Shanna haters have shown the receipts from old MySpace posts on Shanna's page spilling the tea.

He divorced her lameness over multiple incidents of this behavior:

Travis would many times wake up at 5:30 am to care for their young children. Okay. So that's called parenting. But there's more. He got up at the butt crack of dawn because Shanna was sleeping-off her party-girl night. She'd sleep until 2 pm, leave with her assistant to get her nails done, then go back out to the clubs until after 3 am. And then she'd be all bent at Travis:

“... drunk, loud cursing because she hates my friends, hates my bands, my work, hates me.”

FYI: The kids-- who are now teens-- have also publicly criticized their mother's parenting.

#1 JASON ALEXANDER

No. Not the Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame. He's not a tool like this Jason-- ex-husband #1 of Britney Spears. Jason's first claim to fame was being married to Britney for 55 hours last decade. His second claim to fame? Trying to crash and livestream Britney's wedding to Sam Ashgari. At their house. Bad move. He's charged with three misdemeanor counts of trespassing and refusing to leave private property, and felony stalking. Which all means he could get three years in prison.

He probably needs the 3 meals a day and some companionship, because who the f*ck cares about this dude.

You're a special kind of toolbag for trying to inject yourself into someone from your past. Seriously. Let her be, you stupid redneck ass pimple.

Douchefecta

6/10/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending June 10th, 2022:

#3 MATTHEW MORRISON

He's out as a judge on So You Think You Can Dance because his pants want to dance with anyone willing. See, he violated "competition production protocols." Which means he had an "inappropriate relationship with a female contestant."

The two didn't knock boots, but that was his goal. A source said:

“He reached out to her through flirty direct messages on social media. She felt uncomfortable with his line of comments and went to producers, who then got Fox involved. He was fired after they did their own investigation.”

Can you see my head shake right now?

#2 MAMA JUNE

This woman defines white trash. Actually, white trash has some kind of white trash code. This bish has zero code. From dating men that are known child molesters-- including dating one that raped her own daughter, to having relationships with known drug users, this asshat recently tied the knot to Justin Stroud. Who was just arrested a few months ago on an outstanding drug warrant.

Congrats on your first marriage. And thank you that you've stopped reproducing. You've forever damaged the lives of your daughters. And shame on the entertainment devils that made you a celebrity in the first place. You're nothing to aspire to. You should use all that reality TV money and book residency on Mars with your druggie Mister. Oh, wait. You snorted a million dollars up your nose. A million dollars worth!

Loserdome continues.

#1 KEVIN SPACEY

Apparently this... thing... is an affront to the entire world (allegedly.) The disgraced pervo (alleged) actor is close to being charged with four cases of sexual assault in the UK. Crown Prosecution Services says the alleged incidents involved three different men between 2005 and 2013, including causing a person to:

"engage is penetrative sexual activity without consent."

This isn't Spacey's first rodeo. He's being sued by Anthony Rapp, who claims he was assaulted by Spacecadet at the age of 14 while they were both on Broadway together. Oh, and then there's those 20 similar claims of assault and other inappropriate behavior.

Of course, Spacey is innocent. In his mind. I'm sure his trouser worm has a mind of its own. Gross. Just. Gross. Predators (alleged) are 100% scum. Time to scour him off the planet.

No Joshin'

5/27/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending May 27th, 2022:

#3 TRAVIS BARKER AND KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN

These two had their lavish, showy wedding in Italy. And they're getting flack from us commoners for the food they served at the reception. Guests were treated to freshly prepared pasta at their tables. But how dare these two wealthy celebs only dish out a measly palm-sized portion. One fan saw the IG post on Kylie Jenner's page and lost her shizz:

"Personally if a portion isn’t the size of my face I’m not interested.”

Actually, that is the proper size of pasta to consume. We Americans are accustomed to biggie this, and biggie that. Remember, these Hollywood folks barely eat, so that was like a year's worth of pigging out!

No slap for the newlyweds. This slap is for the rest of us who need to occasionally take the feedbag off. LOL

#2 WILL SMITH

We see what you're trying to do here, William. On a David Letterman's podcast, the slapper discussed his memoir and opened up about his troublesome family dynamic growing up.

“When I was 9 years old, I saw my father beat up my mother, and I didn’t do anything. And that just left a traumatic impression of myself as a coward.”

Obviously, childhood trauma sticks with you no matter who you are or what you achieve. But... the excuse calderon is brewing. He couldn't help but slap Chris Rock because he flashed-back to when he was 9 and couldn't protect his mom, and when Chris made fun of his wife, he needed to defend her honor even though he found the joke funny....

Blah, blah, blah.

And you know what? I'm sure many people will give him a pass. They have already. No cancelling the Fresh Prince.

#1 JOSH DUGGAR

This extremely large POS is getting as much punishment as the law allows. Because if we could exist outside of the law, this non-human would get a whole lot more than 12.5 years in prison. He was found guilty of possessing child porn in December 2021 after a 6-day trial and a 7-hour deliberation.

This isn't his first pervo rodeo. We know all about his touching his own sisters when he was a teenager. And now he's a married man with lots of kids. Gross. Hopefully, they'll change their last name to escape your disgrace.

I'm pretty sure you won't be having a fun time in prison. Because even criminals have a code. And they surely do not like those crimes you're guilty of. Say "hi" to Jared Fogel. Enjoy, bitch.

What a Dick

5/20/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending May 20th, 2022:

#3 JASON MOMOA

The actor is in Italy to film Fast X (Isn't that a medication? Oh, wait. That's Gas X) so a stop at the Sistine Chapel is a must-do. He had his picture taken inside, which is a no-no. Because flash photography can be harmful to the ancient artwork. Well, Jason apologized after people were outraged. Jason made a donation and was allowed to take a pic for the socials inside. But still, he said:

“I just also wanted to say, if you ever felt that I disrespected your culture, it wasn’t my intention."

The best part about his apology video? He was shirtless. So, all is forgiven. But, you did kind of did not transgress. Therefore, you're in need of a spanking. I mean, a slap... on the backside.

#2 JAY CUTLER

This dude is the hot mess express for real. Not only was a he a complete douchenozzle to his ex-wife, Kristin Cavallari, his proving that he's a supreme POS. Cuz he's slingin' his ween in places it shouldn't be connecting-- like in his buddy's wife.

Dude was caught hooking up with the wifey while they were all on a family vacation together. A source says:

“Jay went on vacation with his kids and his friend and his wife and their kids. The husband and Jay are good friends and also neighbors. Their kids are all friends. While they were on the trip, Jay was hooking up with his wife.”

And to make matters worse, Jay and not-his-wife have been smashin' for a while.

Seems the only pass he can complete nowadays are ones to the neighbor's yard. Gross.

#1 ANDY DICK

This dude is his last name manifested. A completely sad dick. He's awaiting his day in court sometime today, after police surrounded his trailer and hauled him away in cuffs. He's wanted for suspicion of felony sexual battery after an adult male at O'Neill Regional Park in Orange County, CA, claimed he was sexually assaulted by Dick.

The arrest was live-streamed on Captain Content.

This isn't his first encounter with the authorities. And not his first time on the Slap list. Dude had achieved what so many dream of, then threw it all away with his drugging and bullsh*t, and now he lives in a trailer park when he's not taking up space in the clink.

The only way in which we want you to act like a dick, is to beat it-- as in: GTF out of this planet.

Not Wonderful

5/13/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending May 13th, 2022:

#3, #2, #1 FRED SAVAGE

What the af, Kevin Arnold? Fred's been booted as the executive producer and director of The Wonder Years reboot after an investigation into allegations of "inappropriate conduct" was launched. This is how it went down:

"Recently, we were made aware of allegations of inappropriate conduct by Fred Savage, and as is policy, an investigation was launched. Upon its completion, the decision was made to terminate his employment as an executive producer and director of The Wonder Years."

Well, this one stuck. Because after prior "internal investigations" after allegations in 2018 and 2019, there wasn't "cause." Perhaps somebody made it all go away. Oh, yeah. There was that one settlement back in 2019 when Fred harmed a costumer on the set of "The Grinder".

Attorney Anahita Seda, who represented said costumer, isn't surprised:

“This was a long time coming and I am not the least bit surprised. When my client came to me in 2018 with her allegations against Mr. Savage, we discovered that there was at least one lawsuit that had been filed against him in the past and that Mr. Savage had allegedly engaged in this type of behavior not just towards my client but other women as well. It is unfortunate that it took my client speaking out and now reportedly these others before action was finally taken.”

Oh, wait. There was a second settlement in 1993. Monique Long said she couldn't do her job and was fired because Savage asked to hold her hand, asked her if she wanted to have an affair with him, and other gross shizz.

You know what? It's just as easy to be a stand-up person as it is to be a POS. And by "stand up" I don't mean making your ween stand up so you can harass women.

Winnie Cooper would be ashamed of you.