Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Irrelevant Ignoramus

6/7/2019

Offenders for the week ending June 7, 2019:

#3 HAYDEN PANETTIERE

The actress may be violating a protection order against her ex-BF Brian Hickerson. An incident happened last month that left Hayden with redness and marks on her face and made her dizzy. Hickerson is supposed to stay 100-yards away from Hayden and not contact her in any way. But that doesn't mean she's staying away from him.

"There's not one single person out here who isn't concerned about Hayden. What Brian did to Hayden is unacceptable behavior, and it's not to be tolerated."

The two met in 2018 after Hayden split from her fiance in which she has a child with. Look, a protection order is in place for a reason-- to protect! Because of the sensitive nature of your situation, we're just going to yell at you loudly and not "slap" you. WAKE UP! Trauma and drama does not make for a healthy relationship.

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#2 LAMAR ODOM

Messy Lamar has a tell-all book out, and the Kardashians ain't happy about it. Dirt sells, so when you're already dirty-- you may as well heap another pile on! The former baller, but continual d-bag made many a "confession" in his book:

"I had broken my vows with Khloe (Kardashian) so many times it's just impossible for me to remember them all. I don't know why Khloe stayed with me."

Ewww. Rotten weener. But it gets worse. Rectum admits to "forcefully" grabbing Khloe once when she confronted him while he was high:

(excerpt from book) "You trying to embarrass me in front of my friends? I'll f&cking kill you! You don't know what I'm capable of!"

He says that was "the most regrettable moment" of his life.

We regret your memoir. And your existence.

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#1 KELLY BENSIMON, former Cast Member or the Real Housewives of New York

This chick has always been a little cray. Actually, a lot cray. The former model and current entrepreneur not only relished in her oddball behavior when she was on the reality TV show, but she decided that fellow co-star Bethenney Frankel was her arch enemy. For whatever reason. And years, yes, years later-- she's still whipping-up a batch of Hater-aide. During an episode of her podcast, Bensimon made some accusations about Bethenney during the filming of a cast trip.

"She was pregnant the entire time and was having serious issues with her unborn child and she's flying back and forth pretending to film with her dying father in L.A., but really just filming in the car and never saw him. And I'm like, 'You want me to film with a woman that doesn't even care about her kid in her stomach?' She's like, 'Oh, if I have a miscarriage whatever.'"

Really, bitch. The child she's trying to keep away from her crazy, ex-husband? The child she wanted so badly because she thought she was infertile? WTF do you know since you two aren't friends? Get ready for a lawsuit, nut flaps.

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Dippin' in the Delusional Pool

5/31/2019

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Offenders for the week ending May 31st, 2019:

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#3 PORSHA WILLIAMS, Cast Member/Real Housewives of Atlanta

Since social media is a way of life for many people, everything involving one's life is on display because why not? I mean, it makes for great "slap" fodder, so keep airing your dirties for us to see! The reality TV "star" is apparently on the outs with her fiancee/baby daddy Dennis McKinley because she and her entire family have blocked him on the Insta. Why? That's the mystery that we won't lose sleep over. She posted:

"Not gonna worry tonight. God had it LAST time. God has it THIS time."

Oooooh. Cryptic.

It's been no secret that Porsha has trust issues with men, understandably. But she's also been wreaking of desperation wanting a family and a man. A rich man. Which McKinley is. He's known as the Hot Dog King. Perhaps he's a real wiener in real life. Anywho, don't get angry at people knowing your business if you put your business for the world to see. Duh!

P.S. Guess the biggest insult one can dole out is to block or unfollow someone. Waaaah!

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#2 SONJA MORGAN, Cast Member/Real Housewives of New York

Not that fall-down-stupid-drunk ever looks good, but there's a certain time in one's life when it looks absolutely hideous. That's your cue, Sonja! On the most recent episode of the reality TV show, Ms. High Class, got low-down drunk. Oh, her castmates had to call an ambulance because it was that bad. Said fellow castmate Ramona Singer:

"I don't know what Sonja's been drinking, but it's obviously too much. It's not a good look. It's not a good look at all."

So what set Sloppy Sonja off? The revelation that one of her previous bed buddies is bedding one of her friends. As if this is shocking? You women share boyfriends like friendship beads. Why the concern now?

While this may make for "great" reality TV, it's not so great for the woman who carries the JP Morgan name. Oh, and you're somebody's momma. Great example.

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#1 LORI LOUGHLIN

Aunt Becky is dense. Totally dense. She really thinks she's innocent in this whole college admissions scandal. BWAAAA HAAA HAAAA HAAAA! And, she doesn't think she'll be found guilty. Prosecutors allege that Lori and her hubby paid $500,000 to admissions consultant William "Rick" Singer and his non profit organization to have their daughters Olivia and Isabella designated as recruits to the USC crew team. (These two wenches probably think crew team involves "crew neck" tops.) Anywho, the spoiled brats were never on the team. But needless to say, Lori is fighting her "good fight":

"She's an active participant in her own defense, feels like she's got a valid defense, and when the evidence comes out, she won't be found guilty."

And what valid defense is that? There isn't one. Ignorance isn't a defense. But we're not even buying that. You knew exactly what you were doing.

Maybe she really thinks life is like one of those Hallmark movies she's starred in. Or, because she's uber wealthy her life really is one... until now.

P.S. I've never prayed harder for someone to be found guilty.

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Jade-Ed

5/24/2019

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Offenders for the week ending May 24, 2019:

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#3 WENDY WILLIAMS' SOON-TO-BE-EX KEVIN HUNTER

Divorce can be a messy business. But don't involve the children. No matter what their age may be. Kevin and his son with Wendy, Kevin Jr, went to a store close to their home to pick some things up. Cool. What wasn't cool is that the man and his 18-year-old son got into a physical altercation in the parking lot. But, daddy won't be pressing charges.

"I love my son very much and I will not be pursuing this matter legally. Things are not how they appear."

What appearance is that? That you're trying to influence your son to turn on his mother by saying she's a brainwasher? Not cool. The kid is grown and able to make a judgement call on his own. Perhaps he's not cool with you cheating on his mom and fathering a love child. Ouch.

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#2 ELLE FANNING

We get it. When you've got to look on-point, you do what's necessary. Hello, Spanx! But this is taking it too far. Elle fainted during a dinner at the Cannes Film Festival. Why? Because girlfriend's vintage Prada dress was too tight.

"Oops, had a fainting spell tonight in my 1950's Prada prom dress but it's all good!"

She says she was bloated because Aunt Flo was in town. We feel ya. We gain five temporary pounds every month. It sucks. But so does squeezing yourself into a dress that's going to cut off your circulation, dumbass. There aren't any vintage pant suits?

Here's a thought-- wear something else!

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#1 OLIVIA JADE

This spoiled, bratty, unappreciated little bitch is now all whiny and crying and wanting to go back to college. The same college that her parents (actress Lori Loughlin and fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli) cheated and lied to get her into. The same college that she previously didn't care about going to.

"She didn't get officially kicked out and she is begging the school to let her back in. She knows they (USC) won't let her in, so she's hoping this info gets out. She wants to come out looking like she's changed, learned life lessons and is growing as a person, so she for sure wants people to think she is interested in her education."

That's laughable. Born-privileged people who are douchebags never change their douchebag ways. Because they don't have to. The same chick that doesn't have the goods to get into school has no need for school, not when you're a "social media influencer" making stupid amounts of money. The life lesson? Don't get caught. This is the same 'gina wad that wouldn't talk to her mom because she "ruined my life!"

Here's a lesson for you: shut your legs, open your mind, zip yo lip and f&ck off. Capisce?

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Beware the Worm

5/17/2019

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Offenders for the week ending May 17, 2019:

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#3 TLC

I thought TLC was short for The Learning Channel. Why in the name of all things good do we need to learn about Kate Gosselin's love life? Yes. that Kate Gosselin. The one infamous for her previous show Jon & Kate Plus 8 and then Kate Plus 8, then some other show. The woman who added sextuplets to her twins. We got to watch these folks become celebrities while their marriage fell apart, and prayed those eight children would grow up relatively unscathed. Now, TLC must feel a need to rhyme again with Kate Plus Date.

The premise? Two matchmakers set Kate up on fun dates, while her twin daughters chime-in. Kate, with her not-so-warm-and-friendly-personality, on blind dates? Sigh. I get it. Since her ex-hubby had a midlife crisis and decided to bang 20-year-olds and ditch his engineering job to become a club DJ, Kate needed to hustle to support eight kids. The only way to make big cash is to stay public. But we really don't need this show, TLC. She can go write another book or something.....

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#2 BLAC CHYNA

You can take the girl out the hood, but you can't take the hood... you know what I mean. Blac is accused of threatening her hairdresser with a knife. Damn! B.C says she got fired up because the stylist threw cans at her car(?) Well, the stylist may have a good reason for "canning" Blac. The "celebrity" apparently owed some money and refused to pay. Mizz Nasty has a long history of law-breaking:

Public intoxication and drug possession; domestic incidents; arguing with people she owes money to... and on, and on.

Here's a thought. If you owe somebody money, you need to pay them! Imagine you doing whatever you do that's made you famous and not getting paid. Yes, all those babies you pop out for money from your baby daddies. You wouldn't stand for lack of "child support".

Calm down, girl.

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#1 DENNIS RODMAN

I'm starting to think he got the nickname "The Worm" because he's the worm in the bottle of tequila- drunk and useless. In between slumber parties with Kim Jong Ick, Dennis may be occupying his time with... theft. Allegedly. Supposedly, Dennis helped three female friends rob a store of some yoga pants. Here's what happened: The trio walked into a store, Rodman distracts employees by talking to them. His friends proceed to help themselves to yoga gear.

But Dennis says this story is totally inaccurate. He said he and his friends were hired to help move a $2,500 crystal art piece at the store, and the yoga items were payment. But, the surveillance video shows something different. Mr. Helping Hands said:

"I tried to help... as the good person I am. Am I going to jail? No."

Rodman was allegedly drunk at the time of the incident-- which he denies. Also, that crystal art piece? They dropped it on the floor. Oops.

If there were a Ultimate Hot Mess Award, this asshat would win hands down. Or would that be hands on... the goods?

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Go Back to Canada

5/10/2019

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Offenders for the week ending May 10, 2019:

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#3 KATY PERRY

Ah, the Met Gala. That's wear all the famous people show up in costumes based on the year's theme for the event. An event I'll never be invited to because I have no fashion sense. Of course, it seems like a lot of famous people don't have fashion sense. But whatevs. While I appreciate Katy's fun persona, I found it ironic she decided that one of her "looks" of the evening would be a big burger costume. Outrageous wins, so maybe that was the goal. All I could think about was why a burger costume? There are way better costumes you could've chosen. But I guess what I find amazing about her choice is because of the irony. It's quite fitting because Katy has had a lot of "beef" in her history, so there's that.

P.S. I don't want to know what the special sauce is...

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#2 JOHN CENA AND NIKKI BELLA

Social media is truly reality TV. And it's the perfect outlet to post without thinking. John Cena and his ex-fiancee Nikki Bella are taking their fighter-ways out of the ring and into the Twittersphere.

John tweeted: "Beware those who think you owe them happiness at the expense of your own well being."

To which Nikki tweeted: "When you don't give him what he wants, he will delete you, silence you, manipulate you, do what he can to destroy you, but turn that hurt into strength. Take the high road and prevail! Happiness can't be bought, it is priceless. It's your true secret weapon. N."

Nice try at trying to be vaguely classy. You both are just one "bye, bitch" comment from entering hot mess Mama June territory. Nobody wants that.

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#1 JUSTIN BIEBER

Isn't there a saying: "Douches of a feather flock together" or something like that. Our most loathsome Canadian import decided to verbally vomit on Insta to defend his bro, Chris Brown. Yeah, that Chris Brown. The woman beater.

"Everyone wants to wait til people die To give them the credit they deserve. I'm calling it now when CB passes away after a long full life, you will miss what you had in front of you the whole time... trust me watch you will see... the people who have over looked this mans talent because of a mistake he made... you need to reevaluate! Love you @chrisbrownofficial."

A mistake? You mean a repeated "mistake" of beating women. I can tell you I won't care when he drops off the planet. To me, he already has. Chris Brown had a potentially amazing legacy, being compared to Michael Jackson. But this is how life works: a pile of misdeeds overshadows talent. Especially since your douche-y friend is not apologetic nor sorry for his past "mistake". Just like you're not sorry for treating people like crap. Because you two are equally a jackhole.

Where's a muzzle for this ingrown dick pimple?

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Fumin' and Feudin'

5/3/2019

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Offenders for the week ending May 3, 2019:

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#3 PETE DAVIDSON

I get it. Celebs have their "don't talk to me about this" list when it comes to interviews. Sometimes, those topics are off-limits in business deals, too. Petey left his scheduled show at The Stress Factory Comedy Club in Connecticut because owner Vinnie Brand made a joke on stage about his personal life:

"Pete was not about to let this guy ruin his show, disrespect him and abuse the names of women Pete respects and cares about... It's sad that people like this club owner would pull a stunt like this just to bring attention to himself and his club."

Really, Pete? Yes, it ain't cool this dude took a shot at your shoddy love life. But if I recall, you made fun Navy SEAL Dan Crenshaw-- who lost his eye serving our country and was running for office (which he won.) But that's okay, because it's comedy. Right? Put on your big girl panties and deal with being the target of some lame joke. Sucks, doesn't it. Boo hoo!

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#2 RAPPER 50 CENT AND LALA KENT (cast member of Vanderpump Rules)

Nothing like a lame feud between celebrities and reality "stars". 50 Insta-humiliated LaLa after she shared her story on the show about how she landed her much-older fiancee/movie producer Randall Emmett. LaLa said:

"I let him (Randall) hit it the first time and we were inseparable. He would just send me, like, really expensive gifts. The first night we banged, I got a car the next day. He was like, 'Do you want a Ranger Rover?'"

To which 50 Insta-ed:

"10 seconds left in the 4 quarter hoe's are Winning. Do you want A range rover, yes, bitch yassss. Then just run out and suck a d-k. LOL smh"

Then the feud commenced. LaLa calling 50 a douche. 50 saying Randall owed him a million bucks and had a week to pay it back (he did.) Randall begged 50 to stop the beef with Magic Vaj, and then he ended up in the hospital with chest pains.

WTF? Thanks for the entertainment, but y'all are lame. For many reasons.

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#1 RICK SCHRODER

The actor long ago dropped the "y" from his name to seem more grown up. Well, grown decent folk don't beat their significant others. For the second time in 30 days, he's been arrested on domestic violence charges. According to the popo:

"When deputies arrived, they mad contact with the suspect and the victim. They also identified evidence of a physical altercation."

A similar incident occurred April 2nd. Schroder had been married nearly 24 years before his divorce in 2016. We may never know what's swimming inside your head, especially after a tough breakup with your ex. But, you're a father of four. Get your head out of your ass before someone beats you with a silver spoon. You'd think with all the law enforcement roles you've played, you wouldn't break the law. But in this case, life doesn't imitate art.

Perhaps instead of dropping the "y" from your name, you should've gone with the moniker more befitting you: Dick.

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Spoiled Meat

4/26/2019

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Offenders for the week ending April 26, 2019:

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#3 TAMRA JUDGE AND KELLY DODD, castmates on the Real Housewives of Orange County

The only qualification needed to be a "real housewife" of any of the franchises has nothing to do with wife-ing. Catfighting. That's the only thing you need to be able to do. These two cougars who were friends, then weren't friends, then were, are not now. The two refuse to film with each other after a terrible fallout. Kelly allegedly pushed her own mother down a flight of stairs. At least that's what Tamra is claiming.

"Kelly has had some issues with her family in the past, but she has never pushed her mother down the stairs. Her mother even said that on-camera..."

Kelly is known for her hot-temper and going for the jugular. Wouldn't be surprised if she did push her momma down some steps. Bitch has anger issues. And Tamra... well, she's been known to drop a bomb or two.

Anywho, these two need to chill. But I guess if you're counting on a paycheck, you need to make some drama. Happy clawing!

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#2 MEGAN FOX

For whatever reason, the actress shared a silly photo of Shia LaBeouf from the set of Transformers-- a movie in which the two starred in. The caption from Megs was so sweet:

"Once upon a time 13 summers ago..."

Awwww. The two dated 13 years ago. But she's married now. And someone's momma. While this wasn't a cozy picture of the two of them, there were no other pics you snapped from Transformers that you could've shared to commemorate your entry into Hollywood?

Not cool. No matter how open you and your mister are about past liaisons, why share it? Yes, you're a celebrity. And yes, your dalliances have been archived and displayed in the media. There's no need to rehash. My hubs knows all about my exes, but I would never think of sharing a memory picture of any of them. If I even have any pictures of those fools...

#awkward #tacky #exforareason #respectyourspouse

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#1 VINNY GUADAGNINO, castmember of Jersey Shore

During a recent interview, Vinny was asked what his "body count' number was-- as in, how many babes did he "bag" over the years. His response:
"I really have no idea... more than 100 and probably higher than 500. It could be over 1,000."
Vurp.
"You've got to understand, I've done these, like club appearances when I was on the show. So, like, three nights a week you're in a different city, traveling around the country, things happen.

OMG! You don't win a prize! You don't get a gold medal for Poon Pilfering! You get an angry, warted "rooster" that wants to beat the ever-loving sh&t out of you for abusing him!

"But I've slowed down a lot. Like now, I'm going back to my room, going to watch Netflix -- I want to just chill, I don't want to be in bed with somebody if you don't want to wake up to them the next morning and talk to them."

I'm surprised your Richard hadn't filed for divorce years ago!

Your name should be Weenie Gangreendingo...

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You Can Pick Your Friend's Nose

4/19/2019

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Offenders for the week ending April 19, 2019:

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#3 DINA LOHAN

Because everyone smelled a "catfish" and she finally did, too, Dina has dumped the man she was going to marry-- the she'd never met in person after five years. That hurts my head. Dina said she had gotten suspicious of Jesse Nadler. He does exist. But, he "didn't have the best intentions." What? You mean there are people out there who are ill-intended that take advantage of lesser-intelligent/desperate-for-love people? The two were going to finally meet, but they got into a fight and broke up. Or is that a lie?

"Dina was already suspicious that he was media hungry and she is in talks about doing several new shows, including a dating show... This guy wants his 15 minutes of fame-- he just proved her suspicions correct."

Again, it only took FIVE YEARS! Their relationship probably would've lasted longer had Dina not revealed his identity and their story on Celebrity Big Brother. Oh, the reason they never saw each other? She lives in NYC and he lives in Cali and is taking care of his sick momma, so he can't travel.

Here's some advice: when in doubt, keep your legs shut and your mind open.

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#2 BILLIE LEE, smaller "star" on the reality show Vanderpump Rules

FYI: The pic above is not Billie Lee. Someday, she'll be gif worth.

What a brave story of Billie Lee, budding reality TV star. Billie was in gender transition when she appeared on the show and the reality nation fell in love with her. And now, she's just a big bully. It's apparent she's trying to stir up the shizz to keep her role on the popular Bravo TV show. Unfortunately, she's throwing serious shade at her co-stars and accusing them of bias against transgendered folk-- which is a big, ol' lie. And... she's all bent because she hasn't become besties with the gals on the show.

Queen bee and fellow "star" Stassi Schroeder dishes:

"It's not that she doesn't fit, because if she tried to fit, she would. If she was actually nice and kind and friendly to us, I think she would..."

Wait. We should try to be nice to each other? And not feel entitled?

Here's some advice: all relationships are a dance, not a kidnap-you-and-throw-you-in-the-trunk kind of thing.

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#1 KAITLYN BRISTOWE

I'm not cool, so I don't know who this chick is-- other than she's gotta be famous for whatever reason. She and her boyfriend Jason Tartick (guess these two twits were on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette?) are in love. And she's decided to share way too much information with us.

The two met up after talking for a while, and after they appeared on some other reality TV show. When asked about their first hookup, she spared no detail:

"I was on my period. This is a natural thing for women. We don't have to act like it's weird. We all get our periods... So I was like, 'Yo, let's dry hump.' So we did... In five minutes, he picked my nose and gave me an orgasm. So yeah, it was good. I mean, dry humping will get you if it's been a while. Then he looks at me after and goes, 'Aw. you've got a booger.' And then he picked my nose, and I was like, 'We're it. This is happening.'"

Oh, and said orgasm was the best of her life... with Mr. Booger Picker.

I just... Please.

Here's some advice: for the love of all things sacred, don't share your bowel movements with us.

P.S. I'm sure these two will have one of those Love Toilets like on that SNL skit.

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Gangsta Becks

4/12/2019

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Offenders for the week ending April 12, 2019:

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#3 RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO (of Jersey Shore fame) & JEN HARLEY

These tumultuous lovers are back "on" again. The two were livin' it up in Vegas recently. They even staged a wedding at the world-famous drive-thru Tunnel of Love at the Little White Chapel as an April Fools' Day joke. No, you two are the joke. And your one-year-old child is stuck in the middle of your toxic love affair. But we're sure your reconciliation will work out this time. Not.

Let's take a trip down felonious lane: Jen was arrested last June for domestic battery. In January of this year, the two split after a massive blowout on New Year's Eve. And, Ronnie sent himself to rehab.

But as the Captain and Tennille would say "Love Will Keep Us Together." Sure. Then at least get some birth control. Please.

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#2 ALLISON MACK

The former Smallville actress and completely repugnant wenchhole has decided to plead guilty in the NXIVM sex trafficking case. NXIVM is accused of existing as a secret society of "masters" and sexually subservient "slaves". Mack was accused of recruiting these "slaves" for co-founder Keith Raniere.

The asshat actress used her fame, and her girl-next-door charm to lie to women, claiming she wanted them to become part of a female mentorship group that addresses one's weaknesses.

You deserve way more than the potential 15-year prison sentence. You deserve to be tortured on the daily. In a world where women historically have to work harder and smarter and fight for their place, you take advantage of your own gender-- and lure these victims into their own personal hell. Hope on day one of your prison stay you suffer multiple paper cuts, have salt thrown into your wounds, then you meet a couple of nice gals that don't take kindly to helping a rapist.

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#1 LORI LOUGHLIN

Congrats for being off our slapping radar to making the list for a third time this year! It's never been more fun slapping a celebrity-next-door like you! Especially since you and your hubs have been living-it-up on the town, all smiles despite your shady, bribing, cheating ways.

The latest? Aunt Becky's gettin' all gangsta. She ain't takin' no plea deal like Felicity Huffman did. Oh, no! She's going the distance. And with an additional charge of money laundering, it seems your family may be into more than designing fashion. Damn! According to the latest indictment the couple:

"... conspired to launder bribes and other payments in furtherance of the fraud by funneling them through (Rick) Singer's purported charity and his for-profit corporation, as well as by transferring money into the United States, from outside the United States, for the purpose of promoting the fraud scheme."

Rick Singer has admitted his role as the ringleader of the scam and has pleaded guilty. Get a load of this little tap-wired convo between singer and Lori:

"They're always worried about things going on in foundations." - Singer
"I see. So we, so we just, so we just have to say we made a donation to your foundation and that's it, end of story." - Lori

Here's the end of your story. No more fame. Just infamy. And some time in a cell. And this bitch slap, for one big, privileged bitch.

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Senseless Reality

4/5/2019

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Offenders for the week ending April 5, 2019:

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#3 NENE LEAKES, Real Housewives of Atlanta "star"

This wenchbag completely supports my theory that women are the dirtiest fighters, and the whole "women for women" movement is bullsh*t for most females. She calls herself the HBIC of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Perhaps she should call herself the B.A. of Atlanta-- as in "Biggest Assh&le". Just days after her co-star, Porsha Williams, gave birth NeNe felt the urge to fat-shame her on social media:

"You lying ass big fat hungry bitch... a big piggy with a busted shape... you worry bout them extra small baby ankles you rockin! Hopefully they hold up that giant body. Try dieting!... That's something you have never been good at."

This, coming from a woman that looks like a broke-down Shrek with a bad weave. Okurr.

The rough waters between NeNe and Porsha starting flowing after an incident on the show this season where NeNe didn't want cast members or cameras in her closet. She freaked out when the ladies wanted to peak inside the the massive room she's been bragging about. Allegedly, NeNe was so out of her mind that she put her hands on pregnant Porsha to get her out of the closet.

How about you all get in the closet, and we'll padlock the door!

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#2 THOMAS RAVENEL, former Southern Charm "star"

This dude is all kinds of effed-up. He spent some quality time in a federal prison 10+ years ago for cocaine. He's faced rape allegations in the past, and he just can't stop torturing the mother of his children, Kathryn Dennis. She is 30 years his junior and is a "star" of Southern Charm. The two share 50/50 custody of their children, but after last year's one-two-rape-allegation-punch (again), Kathryn wants full custody.

Well, Thomas has and always will be, a vindictive l.O.B. As a result, Rapenel (alleged) wants full disclosure of his ex-lover's medical records. Like, full. He wants a full list of any and all prescription medications she's currently taking. And, exact dosages. And a doctor's explanation of which symptoms they're intended to treat. While Kathryn has been in rehab before, she has led what appears to be a clean life. Perhaps this bunghole pimple should check his own life instead of trying to destroy someone else's. Oh, and he should really be concerned about what's best for his kids. Which shouldn't be secondary.

His money has kept the rape allegations from turning into something more. But karma is a dish that is always served-- whether you're hungry or not.

*Note: The above gif is not Thomas, but the sentiment fits.

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#1 NICOLAS CAGE

This guy. Seriously. I'm amazed at how an Oscar-winning actor can become a joke. He's a big joke. But he's not turning it into a David Hasselhoff/William Shatner iconic life. He's just a joke! His latest guffaw? Filing for annulment from his fourth wife Erika Koike. After four days of marriage. Cuz he was crunk:

"Prior to obtaining a marriage license and participating in a marriage ceremony, (they) were both drinking to the point of intoxication. As a result of his intoxication, when (Koike) suggested they should marry, (Cage) reacted on impulse without the ability to recognize or understand the full impact of his actions."

On a Tuesday, he filed for a marriage license. On that Sunday, the license was granted and he tied the knot. That's a couple of days in between. You were drunk the entire time? Sure. Also, he didn't know she was linked to someone else romantically, and that she had a criminal record. When I think of the phrase "dumb d&ck", I think of Nicolas Cage. Sigh.

P.S. I have to give him props. His third wife is Korean. So, good taste there. But perhaps marriage is not a role you should pursue.

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