Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Not HA HA

11/9/2018

Offenders for the week ending November 9, 2018:

#3 KIM KARDASHIAN

When, oh when, are we going to learn that certain words are just not acceptable? Sure, back in my day we said so-and-so... but you can't say so-and-so today. Is it fair? Not necessarily. But that's just the way it is. And you jackal celebrities? This applies to you as well.

It's not acceptable to drop the "R word", Kimmie. You videotape yourself all. the. time. So, you'd think she'd think and not say something stupid. Wrong! I guess she got bent when no one could identify her Halloween outfit as that of Pamela Anderson. She got upset.

"Nobody knows who I am. Yeah! Retarded."

If only we didn't know. Hey! She's sorry!

"I want to apologize for what I said in a recent video post that is inappropriate and insensitive to the special needs community. I try to learn from my mistakes and this is one of those times. Please know that my intention is always pure, and in this case, it was a mistake. I'm sorry."

Oh, you're sorry all right. But you're still famous for absolutely nothing. Learn harder, K?

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#2 ALEC BALDWIN

Proving what a douchebag his truly is, Mr. Hot Head allegedly got into a physical altercation over a parking spot. Supposedly, the victim snaked into the spot that Azzhat was waiting for. So the best way to resolve the issue? Smack him upside the head. Of course, Baldwin denies the fight happened.

"I realize that it has become a sport to tag people w as many negative charges and defaming allegations as possible for the purposes of clickbait headline. Fortunately, no matter how reverberating the echos, it doesn't make the statements true.."

Look, dude. You're not known for your scintillating personality. In fact, aren't you and Sean Penn long-lost bros? I'm surprised he didn't blame Donald Trump for this fiasco.

Here's a thought... let it go. And go away. Makes life a lot better. For all of us.

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#1 PETE DAVIDSON

While it's known that I have a twisted sense of humor. I know where to draw the line. Making fun of any of our servicemen or servicewomen is never, ever funny. Ever.

During the latest edition of Saturday Night Live, Pete gave his first impressions of people running for office. Dan Crenshaw is a former Navy SEAL who lost his eye serving in Afghanistan in 2012. Lost his eye. Wears a patch. True to form, Mr. Funny F$ck gave his first impression:

"A hitman in a porno movie. Which I mean who cares, right? I'm sorry, I know he lost his eye in war, or whatever. Whatever."

Yup. Whatever. Just fighting in a war as a badass Navy SEAL. Fighting like you'd never have the sack to do. Because you're a little, weak, wussy, ha-ha man. Why don't you pick up a gun and go fight the enemy for a bigger truth and ideals. Can't? You're not man enough. Eat a bag, or two. You need it.

No wonder Ariana Grande dumped yo ass. Maybe your name should be Piece (of sh&t) Davidson.

By the way, Crenshaw won. Mic drop.

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No One's "Pal"

11/2/2018

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Offenders for the week ending November 2, 2018:

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#3 LANDON CLEMENTS, former cast member on Southern Charm

Bitch almost ruined dolphins for me-- because she sounds like one when she talks. And not in a cute "come swim with me" kind of way. More like, I-need-to-shove-hot-pokers-in-my-ears-to-stop-the-pain kind of way.

She's always looking for love and never finding it. She constantly bemoaned the failure of her first marriage. First, the blame was shared by both parties. And then, he was the rectum twister for being controlling and possessive, and blah, blah, blah-- whatever made for good "reality" TV.

If dude was such a douche, why would you publicly celebrate the 10th anniversary of your wedding? This gold-diggin' famewhore:

"My sister in law (ex) just reached out to wish me a happy what would have been my 10th wedding anniversary. It is sort of bittersweet but if something is not working for you find the strength to walk away. Learn the lessons and try to keep a smile on your face."

And like Elsa: Let it go.... Let it gooooooooo!

Post something we'd actually care about-- like your permanent banishment from the female gender.

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#2 HAUNTED HOOCHIE (aka Dead Acres)

It's rare when a brand or non-person makes the list, but you'll soon understand. The Haunted Hoochie is not Kim Kardashian's crotch. It's a haunted house in Ohio that has stirred it up. For 28 years, the attraction has held "Swastika Saturday". If this weren't bad enough, we all know that last Saturday was the deadly shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh. Yet, the owners felt no need to pull the promotion. Because, you know, it's tradition. SMH.

Look, I'm not politically correct. But I do have common sense. And sensitivity. Unlike long-time patrons that defended the promotion. Because, again, it's tradition... and has nothing to do with hate. Do you know what a swastika symbolizes?

swas·ti·ka
/ˈswästəkə/
noun

an ancient symbol in the form of an equal-armed cross with each arm continued at a right angle, used (in clockwise form) as the emblem of the German Nazi Party.

A party of... hate.

Well, the owners are really sorry-- now. They will no longer support costumes or musical acts or anything that promotes hate. Dumb can't be defended. Sure would suck if some gang member-types showed up at your place...

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#1 GWYNETH PALTROW

Two weeks in a row, but you top this list this week. Why? Because you're irresponsible! Sure, you have "people" that are supposed to mind the manor, but you are the name and the face of the brand. So, you're ultimately the one who answers for everything.

You've come up with quite the list and items of things we need to do to our bodies, but now the time has come for you to just stop. Stop!

This time, she's recommending moms-to-be take her supplements called: The Mother Load. The supplements contain a high amount of vitamin A, according to critics. Too much vitamin A during pregnancy can lead to birth defects and liver toxicity. Well, phooey, say Goop's PR machine:

"When used as recommended, Goop's The Mother Load supplements are safe during pregnancy. The Mother Load contains a very moderate 450 mcg (1500 IU) of vitamin, which is less than the recommended daily intake of 600 mcg per day."

Aside: does this item have to be named "load"? Isn't that how a woman gets into the preggo predicament in the first place?

Anywho, the product isn't recommended by the NHS or the WHO. Oops.

You're no lifestyle expert, Gwen. So please, exit the planet.

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F&ck Face

10/26/2018

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Offenders for the week ending October 26, 2018:

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#3 GWYNETH PALTROW

Gwynie is all kinds of mad at Julia Roberts because her buddy remains friends with her ex-husband, Chris Martin. What!?!? I thought since the two of you "consciously uncoupled" that everything was coolio between you two. Guess not.

"Julia was at Gwyneth's engagement party but missed her wedding and then showed up at the party Chris and Dakota (Johnson, his girlfriend) were throwing instead... it's been difficult for their mutual pals to stay friends with them both."

Are you mentally stuck in grade school? You're supposed to be this evolved, all-knowing entity, spewing all your wisdom on your Goop website. Blah, blah, blah. Time to stomp your feet; throw yourself on the floor; flail your arms and kick your legs and crrrrryyyyyy.

"Gwyneth isn't Dakota's biggest fan and Brad (Falchuk, Gwyn's new hubby) didn't want Chris at their wedding celebrations, so Gwyneth isn't happy to see Julia hanging out with her ex."

Maybe Julia came to her senses and realized what a tit donkey you really are...

Oh, and get over the Dakota thing. Yes, she's younger than you. It's what men do. My ex married a chick 13 years his junior. I'm happy for him. Cuz now she can wipe his old ass instead of me.

#winning

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#2 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

Kryptic Khloe is posting more relationship quotes on the social medias.

"Free yourself from negative people. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you."

There's more...

"Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU-- and being YOU is the only way to truly live."

And she wants to move to the CLE during the NBA season so her baby daddy Tristan can spend time with her and their daughter. Sigh. Stop with the passive-aggressive shizz and just get aggressive on Tristan. He deserves it. Kick him and his wandering wangthang out on his bum!

Here's something I wrote for you:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Kick him in the head
Or ya gonna get screwed... again

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#1 MEGYN KELLY

Why is she even still on TV? Well, she was a no-show for her show the other day, after she stepped in it... again. Where ya balls at now? Full retreat mode, is it? Maybe this will finally put an end to our misery, and her ratings-zapper of a show. Her latest guffaw? Not understanding why blackface is racist.

She said that when she was a child, it was okay to dress in blackface and "white face" for Halloween:

"... you were dressing like a character."

While that may be true, it's no longer something you can do without stirring the pot. There are many things we said and did as young folk that you just can't say and do now. Plus, she used Real Housewives of New York cast member Luann de Lesseps as an example of how it's cool. This past season, Luann dressed as Diana Ross-- in blackface.

"The iconic Diana Ross came up as an example. To me, I thought, why would it be controversial for someone dressing up as Diana Ross to make herself look like this amazing woman as a way of honoring and respecting her.?"

Ima have to call b.s on this rationale. And please-- enough with the ass-kissing. Diana gives zero effs about you, Meghole.

In a letter of apology to her colleagues and staff members, she said she's really sorry and didn't realize how un-p.c. blackface is because she herself is not politically correct.

Guess what, wenchbag? I'm not p.c. either, but I have the sense to not act a fool. You're a highly, overly-paid journalist, no? Do some research and get back to us.

#goaway

*update Meg is out at NBC. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus...

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Just Shut Up

10/19/2018

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Offenders for the week ending October 19, 2018:

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#3 ARIANA GRANDE

Why oh why do people insist on tattooing the name of their sig other on their bodies?!?! There's a 99% chance the relationship will end if you do that, yet.... Now that the mistake has been made, and now that she's broken off her engagement to Pete Davidson, Ariana has covered her ring finger tat with a Band-Aid. And, she removed her $100,000 engagement ring.

The two called it quits four months after getting engaged.

"They realized it happened too quick and too early. The wedding is off, but they're working things out. They're not officially done yet."

Whew! I was losing sleep over it... NOT.

What have we learned here, Ariana? Stop with getting the tats of your muffin muncher.

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#2 KENYA MOORE, former Real Housewives of Atlanta castmember

The stones on this one. And the lack of proper etiquette. She recently posted on Instagram about her upcoming baby shower, and how she expects gifts from all her friends-- even if they don't attend the festivities. And on top of that, people have been less-than-prompt in RSVP-ing-- which has caused this Mistress of Shade-Throwing to blow her stack:

"RSVP literally means RESPOND PLEASE in French so if you get an invitation respond with a yes or no if you will be attending."

Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones; or maybe because she's just a bitch. I'm thinking the latter. She continued:

"#Etiquette101 if you cannot attend a monumental life changing event in a friend's life, it's nice to send a gift anyway. (Weddings, graduations, baby showers) Or it's about class? It's NOT about a dollar amount it's to show you care the same way the person cared to invite you to share a moment in their life."

I thought an invitation to a life-changing event was to celebrate in that moment and show support, not show up with a gift. Technically, the gift is a nice additional gesture. Which is why it used to be proper form to not share on an invite where the person is registered.

Perhaps her friends can bring her truckloads of class? That would be smashing.

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#1 KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

Last week, she blasted Duchess Kate. This week, she hates Disney princesses. Maybe she thinks she's better than us because she's British. Let me tell ya, you're not. While on the Ellen show, she shared that she doesn't allow her 3-year-old daughter to watch "Cinderella" and "The Little Mermaid" because of their horrific messages.

"(The woman) waits around for a rich guy to rescue her. Don't. Rescue yourself, obviously."

She's conflicted over "The Little Mermaid" because she loves it, but hates the message:

"The songs are great, but do not give your voice up for a man! Hello?"

I'm sorry, but is parenting no longer en vogue? You know, actually talking to, instructing, sharing with your child things about life. I loved "Snow White" as a child, but I really didn't think a prince would come and save me-- ever. Why? Because my parents raised me to be an independent person. What a concept! And, I knew the difference between reality and a cartoon. Not difficult, really.

So, continue to shelter your child instead of guide. Either she's gonna end up sucking your teet for life or she will, indeed, just marry for money.

Kudos to you, Miss Keira for topping the list two weeks in a row. I'll send ya a steamy bag of richards as a reward.

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Queen Bee...yotch

10/12/2018

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Offenders for the week ending October 12, 2018:

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#3 MIKE "THE SITUATION" SORRENTINO

I've never understood how celebrities, or pseudo-celebrities in this case, forget to pay taxes. Even if you have an accountant, it's still your responsibility to know your business. Mr. Sitch is going to prison for eight months for tax evasion. Fellow Jersey Shore castmate "Snooki" said:

"He's such a good person. He changed for the better. He's a totally different person. He doesn't deserve this right now, but obviously you gotta get that done."

Yes. Get it done. Pay your damned taxes! Sorrentino and his bro were indicted four years ago. Brother Marc is going away for two years.

For future reference: Get your shizzuation together, fool.

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#2 LACROIX

It's rare when a brand or non-person makes the list, but this is fitting. We hate liars. And you done lied to all of us! The brand is facing a class action lawsuit for false claims of being "100% natural.' Allegedly, the better-for-you beverage contains several artificial ingredients, and some are really bad. Limonene is known to cause kidney toxicity and tumors, and linalool propionate is a substance found in many flowers and spice plants and is used in cockroach insecticides. Eeeek! Well, La Crotch says this is all a cup of b.s.

"The lawsuit provides no support for its false statements about LaCroix's ingredients. Natural flavors in LaCroix are derived from the natural essence oils from the named fruit used in each of the flavors... there are no sugars or artificial ingredients contained in, nor added to, those extracted flavors."

That may be true, but methinks you're gonna lose the lawsuit. I didn't know linalool propionate is a flavor...

Never been a fan anyways. LaCroix is La Crap.

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#1 KEIRA KNIGHTLEY

Who in the actual f$ck are you, Keira? I know you're an actress, and apparently the voice of all females. Personally, I'm tired of all this male vs. female bullsh&t. I'm for people. People behaving properly. People excelling. People being good to one another. Not everything in this world is a man trying to oppress a woman. Stop with the discrimination against men. Because that's what all this "narrative" is becoming.

Ms. Keira called out Duchess Kate's public appearances, which happened just hours after giving birth to her three children. Keira ranted in an op-ed piece:

"We stand and watch the TV screen. (Kate) was out of hospital seven hours later with her face made up and high heels on. The face the world wants to see... Hide. Hide our pain, our bodies splitting, our breasts leaking, our hormones raging. Look beautiful. Look stylish, don't show your battleground, Kate. Seven hours after your fight with life and death, seven hours after your body breaks open, and bloody, screaming life comes out. Don't show. Don't tell. Stand there with your girl and be shot by a pack of male photographers."

Sure. There'd be no way in hell I'd make a public appearance hours after pushing a kid out. But I'm not a duchess. I don't know, nor fully comprehend the royal life or royal responsibilities. And last I checked, the monarch in charge is a WOMAN. So maybe your beef is that women shouldn't push women into perpetuating an ideal idea?

And... with this whole women-supporting-women thing... why do women continue to shred other women?

Yes, I'm a woman, calling you out. But again, I'm a person-ist. Not a feminist. I'm for people. Stupidity is not gender-blind.

Take some time to zip your lip and use that brain of yours. Silently.

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Three Hoe-migos

10/5/2018

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Offenders for the week ending October 5, 2018:

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#3 DANIELLE STAUB

The Real Housewives of New Jersey cast member is no longer a housewife, and she blames the booze for her unfortunate nuptials. But not her boozing. His.

"It's funny how I saw certain things happening, but you just believe, especially with the perception around us, getting engaged would make it better... getting married would make it better."

Who actually believes that? I mean, seriously. Let's get legally tied to one another, because that'll make me get my shizzola together. NOT! Staub got a temporary restraining order against her hubs when she found him standing in the garage, allegedly drunk, agitated and ready to rumble. He claims she threatened to stab him in the neck multiple times over the past year.

Methinks alcohol was involved in the dating, the wedding proposal, and the stumble down the aisle... so what's the surprise here. Plus, Dani is not known to be the most mentally stable.

Please. Stop marrying. It is you.

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#2 CARDI B

I guess the "B" could stand for "brawler." It's bad enough she made the list a few weeks ago for throwing a shoe at Nicki Minaj at New York Fashion Week. Now, she's been charged with assault and reckless endangerment for the attack at a strip club in Queens. Two 20-something women were attacked

"with chairs, bottles and other items."

Damn! Apparently, Cardi thought one of the two women had "relations" with her husband. So, she ordered the attack. Ah, she thinks she's the brokedown mob. Or, she's auditioning for a Lifetime TV movie.

Again, you're a mother. Stop acting like an idiot! Just proves that money can't buy class. Perhaps you should've ordered a lock for your man's pants.

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#1 LINDSAY LOHAN

This crazy train is off the rails again! Her family's worried about LiLo after she posted a bizarre video in which she accuses some random woman of human trafficking, then tried to snag her kids! WTH?!?! On the video (which has since been removed) she follows the family, then says:

"I just want to show you a family that I met that's a Syrian refugee family that I'm really worried about."

And then she got punched in the face. Ouchie.

Though she was sober sometime before (I don't know what year that was), she's apparently not now!

"The strict drinking rules in Dubai where she has been living have provided a nice cover for her as well as the fact that paparazzi aren't allowed there, so there is less of a chance of her getting caught."

And she owns a night club in Mykonos, because alcoholics should own night clubs. Where they serve alcohol. And other illegal substances might be floating about.

Girl, you are 32 going on one-foot-in-the-grave. Wake up and stop being a f*ck up!

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Tricky Dickies

9/28/2018

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Offenders for the week ending September 28, 2018:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON

This dude cannot quit the pink taco! Earlier this year, T.T. was caught in a cheating scandal. And now, guess what? He was spotted leaving a Hollywood club with two brunettes. Double dribble! Well, there's no evidence that he engaged in any no-no place activities. But... he does behave in a suspicious manner.

Things have been going groovy for Khloe Kardashian and Tristan. They moved to California for the summer so her family could spend time with their baby, Tru. The Kardashians forgave Tristan's wander wang ways, and everything was peaches and cream. (And perhaps he's getting some peaches and cream for dessert.)

Or... the reason he left the club with the two brunettes is because he's an Uber driver on the side... Or, he wants to ensure more CAVS victories. He plays better when he plays around.

#GivinRides

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#2 KANYE WEST

Kanye should go work at Wendy's, cuz he's beefin' again. This time with Drake, Nick Cannon, and Tyson Beckford. Damn! That's a triple combo meal with cheese! Mr. West had these words:

"I just want to express some tings that are not sitting right with my spirit. Now that I'm out of the sunken place, I think and just be Ye and express how I feel. There's a couple of things I want to address. First of all I want to address Nick Cannon, like, I understand that you used to date my wife, but you know, you're (giving) an interview, don't mention my wife. Don't be making no suggestions, like nobody f&cked my wife."

What? I dozed off. See, Nick said that Drake "smashed" Kim Kardashian.

Would this really be shocking? And who cares. Many a train has spilled its cargo rollin' through that tunnel.

He's mad at Tyson for saying his boo is a homophobe, and is mad at Drake for something involving his maybe-secret love child.

Did you get all that? But Kanye is an optimist:

"... all three of you all, come talk to me. Holla at me. We will work it out and come to a resolution..."

Uhm. I don't think they give a rat's Yeezy about this mess.

#ZipYoLip

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#1 BILL COSBY

In case you missed it, Mr. Roofie Rapist was sentenced to three to 10 years in prison for drugging and raping Andrea Constand. Poor convict allegedly went ballistic at his home during his sentencing phase. Basically, he was upset that his lawyers didn't do a better job defending him. So, he tried to slam his cane on his kitchen counter, missed, and almost went through the window instead.

"He had a drink of iced tea and then tried swinging it again."

BWAAA HAAAA HAAAA!

Reports indicate that Kung Fu F&ckface swings his cane often at stuff and noises because he can't see. Guess he'll have to get good with a broom handle in prison. Speaking of, Billy had a rough first day behind bars. Someone threw a stale hotdog bun at him, and he fell down a flight of steps because he's not allowed to have his cane. He told his complicit wife, Camille to:

"...grab the checkbook and hire anyone and everyone" to get him out of prison.

I can only imagine how difficult his shower situation will be. Finally, after all these years and all those victims... Some justice. This is the legacy you now leave behind, ball fuzz.

#PuddinPopInThePooper

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Peace Out!

9/21/2018

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Offenders for the week ending September 21, 2018:

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Offenders for the week ending September 21, 2018:

#3 SCHEANA SHAY, Vanderpump Rules Castmember

I have to hand it to Scheana. She's not shy about being a complete famewhore. She got married, then divorced two years later; gushed about her new BF Rob so much so that she scared him away. And now, she's in love again. Adam Spott is a new cast member, bartender at SUR and the newest hottie for everyone to drool over. Well, is she touching Adam's no-no place?

"You just have to watch next season. We're always together. He's my favorite person to be with."

You tease! Look, I get that you want a man to suffocate with love. But seriously, you need to air that thang out. Or you'll give birth one day to Freddie Krueger, Jr.

#VenusFlySnatch

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#2 TOM ARNOLD

He puts the "ass" in classless. I'm so tired of politics infiltrating every facet of every thing. Tommy boy and producer Mark Burnett have publicly verbally battled about Arnold's upcoming show, The Hunt For The Trump Tapes, in which T-bag hopes to uncover tapes of the President saying racist and non-PC things during his days on The Apprentice. Because that's all Hollywood cares about is finding dirt. Sigh.

Allegedly, Arnold and Burnett got into some kind of physical altercation at a day-before-the-Emmys party. Roma Downey, Burnett's wife, tweeted:

"Got this bruise tonight when Tom Arnold tried to ambush my husband Mark and me at a charity event. Is your TV show worth it Tom? Please stop."

Tom wasn't having any of that:

"Bullsh*t. You lie your crazy husband attacked me you psycho. I'm filing police report & suing you for defamation."

You need to have character to be defamed.

#BackOffTheSauce

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#1 VONTAE DAVIS, former player for the Buffalo Bills

I guess sometimes enough is enough. But at least finish your "work day" before you clean out your locker. Davis up and flat-out retired from the team AT HALFTIME! His former team was losing to the Chargers 28-6. Those must've been magic I-need-to-quit-now numbers. Linebacker Lorenzo Alexander was stunned:

"It's just completely disrespectful to his teammates. He didn't say nothing to nobody. I found out going into the second half of the game. They said he's not coming out, he retired. That's it."

What did Vontae have to say?

"This isn't how I pictured retiring... but today on the field, reality hit me fast and hard. I shouldn't be out there anymore. I meant no disrespect to my teammates and coaches."

Not how you pictured it? Uh, you have control over your actions. You could've retired a million other ways. Douchetae said he didn't want to "keep sacrificing" over a long season. Last I checked, the pro football season is 16 games. So, if you do the math ahead of time there are 16 GAMES! Should've bowed out at the beginning. Before game one. It's unfair to everyone. And selfish. You couldn't wait 30 more minutes to quit?

#QuittersNeverWin

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Bitch Slap

9/14/2018

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Offenders for the week ending September 14, 2018:

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#3 CARDI B

You're a brand new momma, and now you're out fighting like some street cat? No! Cardi supposedly threw a shoe at Nicki Minaj during a New York Fashion Week party. The two have been beefin' for a hot minute, and things reached the tipping point at the event. Nicki has publicly criticized Cardi' parenting skills.

"When you mention my child... make comments about my abilities to take care of my daughter is when all bets are f&ckin' off!"

I get it. Totally. But nearly getting into a brawl is not the solution, and not a good example for the little ones. Yes, Nicki needs to keep her bubble-butt-mouth shut. You getting dragged out of a very public event with your dress torn, swearing and kicking is not cool. You could've sent her a bag of d*cks, box of dog poo, or a cup of STFU.

#TakeAChillPill

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#2 ASHLEY JACOBS, reality TV wannabe star

Yes, a little piece (large piece) of me would love to have that reality TV platform. But I'm not quite sure I'd be willing to sell my soul-- and editorial control-- to make that happen. Hate-ly was first introduced to the reality TV world via Southern Charm where she served as cast member Thomas Ravenel's c*ck koozie. The two are on-again, off-again, and Thomas is off of the show because of those rape "allegations". Well, the psycho princess is begging to be included on the show's next season.

"I wish they (show producers) had the decency to contact me and give me a chance. Because I would like to have a redemption story, the same way Kathryn (Dennis) did. I'm not going to fight and I'm not going to play dirty. I'm going to smile and be nice. I never had the chance to do that on the show because I was so wrapped up in Thomas' drama. I was the villain, but people tuned in to watch. I'd like to give viewers the chance to see another side of me."

Besides the gold digger side? Or the whack job side? Or the hateful, evil side? How many sides you got, Cybil? Your archnemesis Kathryn grew up, got her shizz together because she had everything to lose. She worked hard. Your only work is floppin' on your back. So, bye!

#HiAshley

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#1 SERENA WILLIAMS

Most sports fans aren't fans of umps or referees. And neither are some athletes. Especially when a call is made against them. During the U.S. Open finals, chair umpire Carlos Ramos gave Serena a game penalty for court violation. He claimed she was receiving illegal coaching from her player box during the first set. She said out loud:

"I don't cheat to win, I'd rather lose. I'm just letting you know."

Okay. Many tennis players will spar with the chair ump. But then, she turned it up a notch:

"You will never, ever, ever be on another court of mine as long as you live. You are the liar. When are you going to give me my apology? You owe me an apology? Say it. Say you're sorry... And you stole a point from me. You're a thief, too!"

Gulp.

When the match ended (she lost), she didn't shake the umpire's hand and she continued to demand an apology. Perhaps you were wronged. But your refusal to drop it led the winner-- a young rising star who admires you-- to cry tears of frustration in what should've been her crowning moment.

You're a champion. Act like one.

#Fail

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Holy Groper

9/7/2018

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Offenders for the week ending September 7, 2018:

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#3 WILLIAM SHATNER

Why, Hold....A...................Grudge? In the pop culture icon's new book, he tells how he has no idea still why he a Leonard Nimoy fell out way back in 1995. Nimoy died in 2015, and Mr. TJ Hooker was slammed by fans for not attending the funeral.

"I loved Leonard, and he used to refer to me as his brother. Yet at the end of his life and for reasons I still don't know, he was not my friend. He died and I didn't feel welcome at his funeral."

Here's a thought: you should've been the bigger person. So he didn't return your calls. Did you know where he lived? Did you reach out to mutual friends, to family? Sigh.

As every parent has said: "This (slap) is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you." Oh, Shat...

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#2 KHLOE KARDASHIAN

Girl, what in the AF are you thinking? Marrying that cheatin' man of yours? Please. Don't. Tristan and Khloe are talking about getting engaged!

"Khoe and Tristan are doing better than anyone could have expected."

Really. So they're talking "engagement." What about marriage? You know, that thing that's supposed to be about forever. And... did you disinfect his ding donger?

"Tristan has promised Khloe he will never betray her again. She believes him."

Was that a pinky promise? Because those can never be broken. I'm sure he's a man of his word. Bwaaa haaa haaa! Unless you put a padlock on his package, who knows what trollop he's gonna hop on when he's on the road. Just thank him for being your sperm donor and get!

via GIPHY

#1 BISHOP CHARLES ELLIS THE THIRD

Grief makes people do inappropriate things, apparently. That's the excuse for grabbing Ariana Grande's boobala during Aretha Franklin's televised funeral-- right? Grief? More like good grief, Fart Munch, Then to make matters worse, he cracked some ridiculous joke to deflect and to apologize:

"Maybe I crossed the border, maybe I was too friendly."

WTF? Crossed the border? Like, "crossed the line". Or were you really wanting to travel "south of the border", wink wink. Too friendly? Uh, too "molestor-y" actually. By the way, he honked the hooter THREE TIMES. Three! To make matters even more mortifying, Slick Willie Clinton was looking poor Ariana up and down like she was a plate of biscuits and gravy. Hurl.

Maybe Bishop Beatoff he was invoking the Ernest Angley Method of Health Diagnosis through man-handling genitalia. Perhaps he was getting a jump-start on Breast Cancer Awareness month and was preforming a rudimentary mammogram. Or better yet, perhaps he's just the Reverend Douchebag.

Either way, you're going to Hell.

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