Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

Just Buy It!

3/15/2019

Offenders for the week ending March 15, 2019:

#3 LISA RINNA, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Cast Member

It takes a lot for me to divorce a "Housewives" show. Like, it's never happened. Because these wenches are quite entertaining. It makes me appreciate my simple, budgeted life. In a history-making move, I've stopped watching this particular branch of the Housewives tree because the invented drama for this season is aggravating. This "doggie-gate" scandal between the housewives and Vanderpump Dogs (of Lisa Vanderpump fame) is just... ugh. One cast member adopted a dog from said organization and when the dog didn't work out for the family, she didn't return the dog-- as she was legally bound to-- she re-homed it to some woman who then put the dog in a kill-shelter.

Gasp. Yeah. It sucks. Well, it seems Lisa Vanderpump is now getting a second spinoff, Vanderpump Dogs, and Rinna thinks she should get paid. Because?

"I'm a hustler... So my feeling is if we indeed are servicing a spin off we should be paid for it."

Why? It's not your business, nor your idea, nor... anything. What legal legs do you have to stand on? Take your duck lips and go suckle off of someone else's teet.

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#2 JOSE CANSECO

Congrats to Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez on their engagement. Some people are ecstatic; others don't care. And then there's Jose. Who decided to stir the pot. He claims A-Rod is cheating on JLo with his ex-wife.

"I was there a few months back with her when he called her on the phone... Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of sh&t stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez. Alex Rodriguez I challenge you to a boxing match or an MMA match anytime you want."

WTH? A boxing match? Why is it that celebrities always want to fight each other in the ring? Stop trying to make yourself relevant!

These two have a stormy history, but seriously. Let. It. Go. Why do you give an A-rod eff what or who he does? You're the dude that was one of many who plundered Madonna, so you should check yourself. At least JLo is classy while Madonna is the McDonald's of wang. Billions and billions serviced...

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#1 FELICITY HUFFMAN AND LORI LOUGHLIN

You two are shameful examples of why white people get a bad rap. You're privileged, wealthy losers. And so are your kids! What jacked sperm created your children that you need to lie, cheat and buy your kids into college? And your kids are out of f&cks to give about even going to college!

BWAAAAA HAAAA HAAAAA!

You've got a "Desperate Housewife" and "Aunt Becky" gettin' all hood to make sure their offspring flunks out of school. This was quite the plot to get their kids into college: payments in the name of charity; faking SAT scores; photo-shopping your kids into sports photos to get athletic scholarships, etc....

Couldn't you have just taken your millions and started your own school? It's repulsive that your pampered peons are admitted into colleges when there are hard-working, more deserving kids that don't get a chance. Hope you two go to prison and experience the ways of the broom handle.

#OperationTw&twaffle

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Crocodile Tears

3/8/2019

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Offenders for the week ending March 11, 2019:

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#3 JORDYN WOODS

Our former #1 Slapee last week makes the list again this week because she is angry that she's being called a "homewrecker". Uhm, the strange that hooks-up with another woman's man and a breakup results is a homewrecker! Also, you're not free from absolution because you claim you "only kissed him". Again, this coochie hound (Tristan Thompson) was in a relationship with Khloe Kardashian (mother to his offspring) so kissing him is not cool. Plus, instead of making peace with KK-- you went public to proclaim your innocence. Khloe didn't take too kindly to that:

"Why are you lying @jordynwoods?? If you're going to try and save yourself by going public, INSTEAD OF CALLING ME PRIVATELY TO APOLOGIZE FIRST, at least be HONEST about your story."

Ouch. Feel the burn. Which she probably will since it's Tristan and his snake slithers often.

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#2 DANIELLE STAUB

The Real Housewives of New Jersey cast member, who's been engaged 22 times, and married thrice-- was ready to walk down the aisle just moments after the inked dried on the divorce decree from her third marriage. Head hurt yet? Mine does. This complete epitome of a basket case wisely ended her engagement... for now. Why? According to a source:

"Danielle wants to spend a little more time with her daughters as this happened very fast and caught them off guard."

It happened so fast that her grown daughters never even met the Weener of the Month. But Danielle is determined. She plans on getting married in the next week or so.

Oh, Oliver (the fiance) is a duke. So he must have money, because that's what Danielle requires. Lots of money to support her plastic life. Her third ex, Marty, was a businessman. They were married for less than two months. Apparently, Danielle has magical vajayjay to trap all these men. Or perhaps these dudes think it's the Grand Canyon-- old and well-traveled.

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#1 R. KELLY

This guy is in total denial. He truly believes his own bullshit. And he's completely repulsive. Amidst more sexual abuse charges against him, ass clown decided that he should tell his side of things on TV. In a sit-down with CBS' Gayle King, the singer is stunned that people would believe that he's a sexual predator. Because he has no past suggesting such activities.

"Why would I? How stupid would it be for R. Kelly-- with all I've been through in my way, way past-- to hold somebody, let alone four, five, six, 50?... How stupid would I be to do that?"

Your are stupid. You are sick. You are a predator. That's why you would continue to abuse women. Yes, you got away with it because your victim refused to testify. And her family was afraid to testify. Your own family, and people not even associated with you saw your recording studios equipped with private rooms and beds. And let's not forget--you married 15-year-old Aliyah! Fifteen! You knew she was 15, yet you seduced her and married her.

The "Surviving R. Kelly" docuseries about you and your shameful ways made things crystal clear. Your ex-wife shared her heart-breaking story of once being a happy, successful dancer to becoming one of your prisoners. And, your own children want nothing to do with you. P.O.S. isn't even a title worthy of all your crimes against humanity. There isn't a deepest part of Hell that would be enough torture for you.

Hopefully, you'll end up in prison. And someone will go all Old Testament on your ass.

P.S. While we're at it, pay your damn child support!

P.P.S. Stop referring to yourself in third person. Douche!

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Who's Your Mac-n-Cheese Daddy?

2/28/2019

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Offenders for the week ending March 1, 2019:

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#3 ROBERT KRAFT

The owner of the New (nude) England Patriots has entered (LOL) a not guilty plea to soliciting prostitution after back-to-back visits to Orchids of Asia "spa" in Jupiter, Florida. Robert, why? was your heart broken by the death of your wife and the gold-digging ways of your 39-year-old former girlfriend? Did you feel that visiting a "pro" would be drama free?

You have a gajillion dollars. You could've bought some classy, drama free, primo kitty time. Or in this case, a hands-on experience and skin flute action. You had to have known you would've been caught. The name of the spa alone puts the illegal activity on blast. Any Asian "spa" that offers table showers, massages, and body treatments will "arouse" suspicion, so to speak.

But maybe we have it all wrong. Here are two thoughts:

1. You caught Yellow Fever. There is no cure. You just need more yellow attention.
2. You are a known philanthropist. Perhaps you've become a "feel-anthropist."

Whatever the case, let's cue your theme song: "I Did it For the Nookie".

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#2 TRISTAN THOMPSON

They teach you ball control on the court, how about trying it in your pants? After getting caught cheating while your girlfriend Khloe Kardashian was preggo with your daughter, you'd think you'd think with that stuff between your ears. Apparently, that thing between your legs is the dominant force in this saga.

This lowdown, dirty butt pimple was caught with his hand in Jordyn Woods' cookie jar. Oh, Jordyn-with-a-Y is Kylie Jenner's BFF. Kylie, of course, is Khloe's sis. Ewwwwww!

The two were "making out" at someone's house party. And they may have rolled around while Jordyn was roommates with Kylie. Tristan, Tristan, Tristan. There are millions of women in the world. Why must you dip so close to home? Are you earning "frequent Kardashian rider points"? Is this some kind of six-degrees-of-Kardashian sex game?

One day, your weener is going to rebel...

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#1 JORDYN WOODS

Congratulations! You've won the Slutbag Skank Award. Why are you tops this week and Tristan isn't? Because you could've said "no" to inviting a spoken-for man's Oscar Mayer into your den of doom. Sources say:

"This is out of character for Jordyn and no one expected this to happen."

Sure. Like the old saying goes: "It takes two two tango". If half of the equation is unavailable, then the dancing can't happen. Perhaps you've taken up "snake charming" as a vocation? And Tristan's was available for practice? Way to ruin your BFF relationship, your friendship with Khloe, and now you're labeled a tramp. Maybe you want to become Kim K famous. Don't hold your breath.

Quit treating your crotch like it's a Golden Corral.

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"Wolf"

2/22/2019

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Offender for the week ending February 22, 2019:

It happens on a few occasions-- a person so offensive that the entire Slap is dedicated to such a vile waste of space. Welcome to the club:

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JUSSIE SMOLLETT

Plain and simple. You might be the largest P.O.S. walking right now.

This anus wipe allegedly filed a false police report and was supported, prayed over, and spotlighted on national TV to regale the world over his "racially-motivated attack". Adding fuel to the hate-America-fire, this pecker rag claimed his two men wearing MAGA hats beat him because he's African-American. A true hate crime. Upon further investigation, the stories of the two non-white suspects didn't add up. It was discovered that these two were paid $3,500, allegedly, by Smuttet to attack him. Why? Because the faker was dissatisfied over his salary on the TV show "Empire". Because $20,000 per episode isn't enough jack. Plus, he wanted to promote his career, so let's try to gain sympathy with a hot-button issue.

Dude was foolish enough to pay these two with a check. And the attackers are from Nigeria. It's like one of those reverse Nigerian email scams. WTF!?!? Well, Lassie is innocent:

"(he) is angered and devastated by recent reports that the perpetrators are individuals he is familiar with. He has now been further victimized by claims attributed to these alleged perpetrators that Jussie played a role in his own attack."

WAAAAAAAAAA! You were caught. It's called a police investigation. I'm sure, though, all the police officers involved are racists.

There are real people who have really been victims of crime, victims of hate crimes-- and never receive justice. Many suffer the emotional and physical scars of their victimization. You should hope to never experience that. It's like claiming to have an illness when you don't. Bad. Karma. But I'm sure your scheming and conniving will pay off. It did for Kaepernick-- a mediocre-at-best football player who's rolling in the $$$ because of his "beliefs".

You, J.S., are a repulsive, self-serving douche nozzle. Congrats. I didn't know who the f*ck you were until your messy "incident" happened. Now, I say your name as curse word.

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Dingbats & A Douch*bag

2/15/2019

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Offenders for the week ending February 15, 2019:

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#3 CARDI B

It's probably time to make you a Lifetime Member of the slap list, because I think you've made it three out of the past four times. She's just so airhead-ish. She's made the list several times, for saying she had butterflies in her vajayjay (uh, that's 'stomach'). to sharing her cravings for her cheating man's 'sausage', and now... thanking Tom Petty for sending her flowers after her Grammy win.

Wait. He died in 2017. Or did he?

"Thank you Tom Petty for the flowers. I left the room but the flowers were very big. I want to say thank you so much... and the beautiful note."

The note with her flowers read:

"You've got a big heart. so big it could crush this town."

Those are lyrics from the song "Walls (Circus)".

Oops. First of all, again-- he's passed. Second, I'm not sure Cardi even knows who Tom Petty is/was.

Thanks for the laughs, girl. Just keep eating that leather.

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#2 DINA LOHAN

Back in the day-- and in some cases, today-- people got married to each other via arrangement. No courting. No Tinder. No preview-the-package. Just cross your fingers and hope it would all work out. In the modern era, we usually court. Date. Bang. Whatever. This mother of Lindsay has been dating a man for five years. A man she has never met. What the AF?!? She hasn't even FaceTimed him. The Celebrity Big Brother cast member told fellow houseguests:

"I can't wait to tell you about this guy. I've been talking to him for five years... You know when you talk to someone on the phone, like you feel like you know them?"

Uh-huh. Dingbat claims he's real and the reason why they haven't met is because he cannot leave San Francisco to visit her in New York. Because he's taking care of his mother.

"I swear to you he's real. I swear, it's crazy. But i'm going to marry him. It's really, really true. I talk to his mom!"

Okay. So you can't go visit him?

We smell a Catfish here. Or, she's just delusional. Maybe a little from column A and B! If you haven't seen a "picture" of "him" and he "doesn't have an iPhone" so you can't FaceTime, yeah... true love!

I think it's safe to call this chick 50 Shades of Dumb.

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#1 DRAKE

Beefin' with Kanye. Talkin' smack about everyone. And now spittin' in the face of the Grammys. Dude took home some hardware last weekend. And as most celebs, turned his speech into a bunch of self-righteous drivel:

"It's like the first time in Grammys history where I actually am who I thought I was for a second, so I like that. I definitely did not think I was winning anything... I want to let you know we play in an opinion-based sport, not a factual-based sport. It is not the NBA, where at the end of the year you're holding a trophy because you made the right decisions or won the games."

Then he was accidentally cut off. Because he had rambled and then paused. Oh, well. In previous years, Drake has bitched about his lack of acceptance by the Grammys:

"If I ever feel like an outsider, it's usually because I'm not American... I guess maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have quite an eclectic makeup. I am mixed, I am Jewish... at the end of the day, when it comes to everything else, I'm black."

F&ck off. This country is comprised of all kinds of people. And I'm so tired of the race card. Guess what? You don't see any Asians being made famous in movies, TV or music? Guess "yellow" ain't the right color? Where's the equality? Go cry on your millions of dollars and multiple trophies about how friggin' unfair life is. Most of all, just zip your pouty lip and maybe go back to Canada!

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Sprung a Leak(es)

2/8/2019

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Offenders for the week ending February 8, 2019:

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#3 BOW WOW

You've heard that saying: "Mess with the bull, you get the horns". Perhaps that's what happened to the former child star/rapper/now grown-up-actor now known by his birth name of Shad Moss. Dude was arrested for allegedly assaulting a woman last weekend. The alleged victim and Mr. Moss-Wow sustained minor visible injuries.

"Officers were unable to determine the primary aggressor of the altercation, so both parties were charged with battery."

What is it with rappers brawling with anyone they can? Next time, just run if you can. Also, I'd go back to using "Bow Wow". Because "Shad" is too close to "shat". Unless this is the direction you're going now.

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#2 KENDALL JENNER

Widdle Kendall has admitted that she's "cried endlessly for days" over social media comments. But she's learning to get over it...

"I mean, don't get me wrong: I definitely feel, and the things people say online are very hurtful. You also just have to live your life and not pay attention to it."

Yes. Don't pay attention to the B.S. But seriously. No sympathy here. When you decided to chase the fame monster, you subconsciously agreed to to everything that comes along with it. Good and bad. But regardless, always remember that you have f*ck you money, So who cares what people think? You can buy all the ass-kissing friends you want!

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#1 NENE LEAKES, Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast Member

Loud-mouthed. Over-the-top. Pretentious. Some of the nicer words to describe Ms. Leakes. Foolish might be another one. How dare she come for the reality TV show queen, Lisa Vanderpump? Oh, no she didn't! NeNe has her Gucci panties wadded in her coochie over an alleged theft by LVP. She claims she had an idea for a restaurant in West Hollywood, called Lisa up to ask for her advice, and Lisa said it would be a bad investment. Lisa co-owns several successful restaurants in Cali, and is set to open one in Vegas.

Anywho, after shooing NeNe away-- Lisa allegedly bought the same property and opened Pump restaurant there. NeNe is not happy:

"She did some real foul sh*t to me... We're gonna get Lisa Vanderpump."

What do you mean by this exactly? You're going to sue her? For what? You got schooled. It happens. Do you know how many ideas I've had stolen from me? It ain't easy opening a restaurant. Plus, it's kind of cliche for reality TV stars to do it nowadays, but whatevs. You have clothing boutiques or something so, hang your hat on that... so to speak.

Leave the Queen alone. She's got business savvy and ultra coolness. Out of your league.

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Tattoo Fool

2/1/2019

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Offenders for the week ending February 1, 2019

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#3 TORI SPELLING

She's been ordered to pay more than $88,000 to American Express. In January of 2016, the credit card company sued her after she failed to pay up for months. In December of 2016, Tori and husband Dean McDermott were sued by City National Bank for nearly $200,000 after failing to repay a $400,000 loan.

Tori blames her childhood for her money woes, saying she was born into a lavish lifestyle as the daughter of TV producer Aaron Spelling:

"I grew up rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams. I never knew anything else. Even when I try to embrace a simpler lifestyle, I can't seem to let go of my expensive tastes."

Well, you could file for bankruptcy. Or, you could get some debt counselling. Don't they do that for formerly-rich folks? Or, you and your actor hubby could try and find other work. Or this: Stop. Spending. Money.

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#2 THE GAME

Some dudes are just stupid. Some need to get a hobby. Some stupid men need to get a hobby. The Game is one of them. Why would you want to poke the angry bear named Kanye?

The Game has regaled us with a song about his naked time back-in-the-day with Kim Kardashian:

"I held Kim Kardashian by the throat, n*gga. I made her swallow my kids until she choked, n*gga. I should apologize cause Ye my folks, n*gga."

Uhmmmm, if you know there's something you need to apologize for and do it in advance, it's still a steamy pile and still offensive! Why do these fellas feel the need to talk about whom they've banged? And whomever Kim shook genitals with pre-marriage doesn't matter. On top of this, The Game claims he's bedded three Kardashians: Kim, Khloe and Blac Chyna (who was married to Rob Kardashian, so that counts?).

Is there some club with benefits for nailing a Kardashian? Like Publishers Clearing House or a Kardashian of the Month Club? Whatevs.

The Game is a loser at the class game.

#1 ARIANA GRANDE

I love it when people try to display their inner-deep-thinker-I'm-so-evolved-zenmeister on their bodies. Because 99% of the time it's a fail. Ariana may be famous and privileged, but she couldn't escape a tattoo eff-up of epic proportions.

She intended to commemorate her new single "7 Rings". In that video, she correctly uses the Japanese kanji for the title. But when it came time to get inked, she skipped a few very-important symbols which changed the meaning to:

"shichirin" which means: "barbecue grill"

BWAAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAAAA!

She has since removed pictures of her palm tattoo from social media. But when she was responding she said:

"It (tattoo) hurt like f*ck n still looks tight. I wouldn't have lasted one more symbol lmao."

If you can't take the pain, get out of the tattoo parlor! What if your tattoo ended up meaning: 'I f*ck squirrels in the ass" because you couldn't take the pain? Fool.

At least it wasn't some dude's name she got tattooed. But didn't she do that previously?

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YouBoob

1/25/2019

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Offenders for the week ending: January 25, 2019:

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#3 JOSH CHARLES

I totally forgot that this dude is/was an actor, because his most famous role was waaaay back in "Dead Poet's Society". Guess he's on a couple of TV shows? Anywho, he's a deep thinker. If you don't agree with his left wing politics, meaning you're a supporter of the President, then you suck.

"I'm so sick of this motherf*cker. Just so sick. This needs to end. F*ck him and every single person who continues to support him and his dangerous administration."

So eloquent. And hypocritical. The Left stands for all people, yet if you dare to not agree with its point of view then you open yourself to hate speech, threats, violence. Yes, let's end this danger. Sigh. So cliche.

I'm calling you out for your lack of originality. Just as sparkling as your acting career. BWAAA HAAAA HAAAAA!

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#2 CARDI B

Apparently, it's all about "the D." The hip-hop artist may soon reconcile with her lying, cheating husband. She recently admitted the thing she misses the most from her hubby is his wang. Not the relationship; not his fine parenting skills-- his ween. The same ween that he slapped some other tramp with.

Cardi B and Offset broke up in December, but then reunited in Puerto Rico two weeks later because she:

"Just had to to get f*cked. That's all."

But sources say she has a really deep love for Offset. How deep? Like, nine inches deep?

If this dude has such a magic rod, then perhaps he should have a residency in Vegas instead of you. If dude cheats on you one time, he'll do it again.

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#1 LOGAN PAUL, social media "star" and YouTube vlogger

This rich kid-turned-celebrity is the epitome of the clueless millennial. Young and unaware. And, sadly, famous for doing nothing because there are so many even-younger sheeple in this world. During one of his podcasts he was discussing something meaningless with a fellow jerk junkie.

"January is sober vegan January... It's male-only March. We're going to attempt to go gay for just one month."

Really? When so many people struggle on the daily with coming to terms with their sexuality, you're going to make it a fun game? This just further proves how vile this thing is. Last year, Paul was called out for a vlog post that showed the body of an alleged suicide victim in Japan. At that time, he was really sorry for what he did:

"It's time to start a new chapter in my life... I'm humbled and thankful to say this is just the beginning."

Of what? Your continued douchebaggery? Well, you've succeeded!

How 'bout you do something really outrageous in March-- act like a human being for an entire day! Betcha can't. Because you are the genetic compilation of every creature's colon. A royal shi*tbag.

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Could It Be, Saaatan?

1/11/2019

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Offenders for the week ending January 11, 2019:

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#3 CARDI B

This chick is a one-woman show. Her breathing air alone provides so much material. From cat-fighting with Nicki Minaj, to saying she had butterflies in her jay-jay, she's golden. This time around, she had to stop her show because of intense twerking. So intense that...

"Anyways, y'all, I need a little break. I'll be right back, I gotta take this wedgie out my ass."

And then she skipped off stage to address what was betwixt her cheeks. I wonder if the jaws of life were needed to help her out? Or does she have a personal ass-istant to address such matters?

Great way to capitalize on this, though. An endorsement with Charmin bathroom tissue.

"Your hiney's so Charmin shiny..."

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#2 JEFF BEZOS

He started Amazon from his garage, sending us boxes of joy. And it appears he couldn't keep his trouser snake out of his friend's wife's box. Whoops!

The gajillionaire is getting divorced from his wife of 25-years. Guess he wanted some south-of-the-border lovin' from TV host Lauren "Dirty?" Sanchez. Great choice. For so many reasons. Especially the one where this chick likes to high-profile date. Who better to bang than the dude who created Amazon? The pair's coupling is the main reason for Bezos' divorce. Kudos for keeping it on the DL for eight months. Not.

The two had been jetting off to exotic destinations, sending sext messages (vurp-- he's no looker), and hooking up in private estates. But this takes the prize-- a rendezvous at the same Boston hotel Jeff's family stayed at when in town for Parents Day at his son's college.

Boo.

You know Amazon's slogan: "Work hard, have fun, make history." Congrats, Skeezos, for being just another typical douche who takes-the-wood to his buddy's wife. Tacky. Classless. Maybe a porch pirate needs to snatch you off this planet.

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#1 CHRISTIAN BALE

We've been doing the slap for a number of years now. But seriously, when did Hollywood become completely un-fun and inundated with complete muff pimples!?!? There must be something in the air these people are breathing, or maybe Hollywood-types are Lizard People, cuz these folks are not rational.

At the Golden Globe Awards, Christian won for his portrayal of Dick Cheney in the film "Vice." Congrats.

During his acceptance speech is when he decided to thank Satan. If actors can insincerely thank God, why not Satan?

Well... I wouldn't want to invoke an evil entity. But that's just me. Perhaps he's already sold his soul to said entity, which would explain why he's even famous.

Is it coincidental that a man named Christian would praise the polar opposite, Satan? Perhaps you're more like Satan than Christ. There was that little incident a few years back where you were accused of assaulting your mother and sister. No Christ-like brotherly love there. Is this just a life-long need to retaliate against your birth name. If you were named Twatski, would you then be living today as a better human being?

Way to go, American A&&hole!

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Jailhouse C&ck

1/4/2019

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Offenders for the week ending January 4, 2019:

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#3 MADONNA

In a sad need to remain top-of-mind, it appears Madge has gotten butt implants. Just in time for the New Year! Apparently, she was performing on stage at a gay club in NYC with her 13-year-old son when patrons noticed a curvier derriere. And it's obvious she didn't receive the gluteal gain from a lot of squats. Her ass looks like a mini-Minaj-- like two cantaloupes stuffed into some stretchy pants. Fans reacted:

"Looks like she has a pillow down there!"

"GOTTA be pads. GOTTA be. Right?!?!"

Others were saying that the lump was the battery pack for her in-ears. Battery packs aren't curvy.... butt.... the truth remains to be seen. Just hope she doesn't drop her pants to prove either theory. For the love of God, put your lady stuff away!

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#2 KANYE WEST

I don't know why Yeezy has such a boner for Drake. Maybe it's because he's Canadian. If that's the case, okay. You live in our country's attic, basically, so just stay there. But for realz, Kanye is bent because Drake-- at one time-- followed his wife, Kimmie K, on the Insta. Well, lock him up! Kim has a gajillion followers because she's perpetually in a state of near-undress. Of course any straight man with a pulse in his crotch is gonna follow her! But there is no talking logic to Kanye:

"I never knew till this morning that Drake followed my wife on Instagram back in September. I had to bring this up because it's the most f*cked up thing of all and I just saw it this morning. Imagine having a problem with somebody and they follow your wife on Instagram."

Ohhhkaaaaay.

Drake and Kanye have been beefin' since Kanye accused Drake of trying to contact the Kardashians and allegedly threatening some kind of physical harm over revealing that Drake has a 14-year-old love-child.

My head hurts for so many reasons. But seriously, why isn't Kanye a reality show? So. Much. Material.

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#1 RONNIE ORTIZ-MAGRO, "Jersey Shore" Castmember

Is it the Jersey Way to star on a reality TV show, then become a criminal? Fellow castmember Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was sentenced to eight months in prison for tax evasion, and now his buddy might be joining him in the clink if he can't get his shizz together. Ronster is a "person of interest" in a possible burglary that happened in the wee hours of New Year's Day. At least he's finally the "interesting" one from that cast. Too bad he needed a toxic relationship and potential criminal record to make that a reality.

Ronnie and his baby-momma Jen Harley are constantly on-again, off-again. So, they were "on" on New Year's Eve, but then "off" after an argument. There was alleged destruction of property, the thieving of property, but fortunately-- no violence.

Dude, get away from the Jen-uation. She's bad news. There are plenty of other spray-tanned, big-haired, teenie-bikini shore chicks for you to "dock your canoe". And most importantly-- you are the father of an 8-month-old girl. What kind of example are you setting? A sh&tty one. Back off the 'roids and man up where it counts-- your character.

Don't let your brain become as shriveled as your nuts.

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Just Buy It!

Crocodile Tears

Who's Your Mac-n-Cheese Daddy?

"Wolf"

Dingbats & A Douch*bag

Sprung a Leak(es)

Tattoo Fool

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