Writer Kathy Vogel Addresses Celebrity Bad Behavior

PrettYe Woman

1/14/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending January 14th, 2022:

#3 DRAKE

For you 'Bama fans out there, you can blame Drake for the loss of the national college football title to Georgia. Alabama was favored to win, and Drake was all "Roll Tide". There's rumors of a "Drake Curse" because most of the teams he supports, lose. In fact, it's been documented that if he wears a jersey, poses for a photo with an athlete, or is thinking about supporting a team, they will lose.

Basically, you're the Yoko Ono of sports...

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#2 KANYE WEST

Ye is smitten with model Julia Fox. They met on New Year's Eve and then they spent some time together. And he treated her like a queen. She said when they went to a Manhattan hotel, he had a whole suite of clothes waiting for her.

"It felt like a real Cinderella moment. I don’t know how he did it, or how he got all of it there in time … Like, who does things like this on a second date? Or any date!”

She said their relationship is "organic".

Just. Stop. You're not going to make Kim jealous, Ye. She's swimming in all that Big D energy with Pete Davidson. Yes, hard to believe... but it's true.

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#1 ANTONIO BROWN

The NFL is the biggest cauldron of dramz. And Antonio is top-shelf drama. Dude got released from the Bucs after he got bent and decided to strip his uniform off and flex for the fans before leaving the field over... I'm not sure. He claims he got cussed out by the coach because he didn't want to play injured, but then there's a question to whether he's injured, and then Antonio decided to show the receipts. Phew. Did you get all that? And now, he's coming for the GOAT, Tom Brady.

“Tom can’t do nothing by himself, this is a football game. If Tom Brady’s my boy, why am I playing for an earnest salary? You my boy, though, right? [Rob] Gronkowski is his boy, right? How much did he get paid? So, why is AB on a prove-it deal? Who’s better than me over there? Let’s be real.”

Why must dbags address themselves in third person!?!?! Yes, the answer is in the question...

Dragging Tom doesn't make you look any better.

What can Brown do for you? Act a fool and get shown the door. Kudos.

Massengil Time

1/7/2022

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending January 7th, 2022:

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#3 JAKE PAUL

There's a scent of vinegar in the air. Must mean a Paul brother is around...

Jake says he'll leave the world of boxing if UFC president Dana White agrees to his list of demands:

"1) Increase min fighter pay per fight to $50K (it's $12K now); 2) Guarantee UFC fighters 50% of UFC annual revenues ($1bn in 2021); 3) Provide long term healthcare to all fighters (you previously said brain damage is part of the gig…imagine the NFL said that). There are many UFC alums who have publicly said they are suffering from brain damage."

Great that you have a "cause", though your sincerity is in question since you're just a famous attention whore. And calling yourself a "boxer" is quite the loose interpretation.

P.S. What do we have to do to get you to retire from humanity?

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#2 TRISTAN THOMPSON

What does Maury Povich say? You ARE the father! It's not like any of us doubted that. Maralee Nichols was right all along. And now Tristan has confirmed his happy (?) news via the socials.

“Today, paternity test results reveal that I fathered a child with Maralee Nichols. I take full responsibility for my actions. Now that paternity has been established, I look forward to amicably raising our son.”

And... he apologized to Khloe Kardashian-- who is one of his baby mommas-- who he tried to "reconnect with" and maybe even have another child with...

“Khloé, you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve the heartache and humiliation I have caused you. You don’t deserve the way I have treated you over the years.”

Exactly.

P.S. Do you have a bet with Nick Cannon about who can father more kids?

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#1 JASON DERULO

Jason got into a scuffle with two people in Vegas the other night. Why? Because someone mistook him for Usher. At the Aria resort, Jason threw a punch and connected with a man's face after he claims he was cursed at and called Usher.

The victims did not press charges. Jason was asked to leave.

Dude... there are worse people you could be called. Like, Chris Brown. The Situation. Any member of LFO. At least Usher is hot and has had a lot of hits.

P.S. Since you sing your name at the beginning of most of your songs, you should just walk around singing your name IRL so people won't think you're Usher.

Ending on a Low Note

12/31/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 31st, 2021:

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#3 COMMON, known rapper

Rapper Common and comedian Tiffany Haddish were all booed-up during the lockdown. And they were going strong for a year-- so deeply in love. And then... Splitsville. The reason? They're both so busy post-lockdown that there's no time for affection.

Hold that.

Tiffany is now saying that's not the case:

"He might be the type of person that never really settles with somebody, maybe he’s like, you know, like a bee going from flower to flower to flower. I don’t know. I wish him nothing but joy and happiness, you know. He will always be cool.”

Not if he's not being forthcoming on why y'all broke up! I guess he likes the "common" B.S. excuses instead of the truth.

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#2 MEGHAN KING, former Reality TV "star" turned "Influencer"

Called it! Meghan's quickie marriage to Cuffe Owens is done-sy. And for this thrice-divorcee, she's crushed:

“I am rattled. This situation is profoundly devastating.This is obviously not what I imagined when I made my vows — and I’m shocked and saddened by the way things turned out. I am moving forward with my children (not Cuffe's) as we privately process our pain and begin to let go of shattered dreams.”

OMG! Sooooo dramatic! What in the af did you expect when your flighty-ass married this ween after THREE WEEKS of dating?

But, damn, they were three of the most fab weeks after meeting up on the Raya dating app.

“[We] texted for a day or two, then spent five straight hours on the phone the first time we spoke. By the time that call ended, Cuffe was booked and packed for a flight to St. Louis that took off in about eight hours. Within a week, we were back on the East Coast, meeting his family, and starting to plan our future together. We didn’t leave each other’s side for weeks.”

Methinks his being Biden's nephew was the main attraction. Cuz you could get extra clout coins for that move...

P.S. Is she going to marry a "Collar" next?

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#1 KANYE WEST

I actually feel a wee bit sorry for ol' Kanye. Cuz he is reeking of desperation. Kim. Doesn't. Want. You. Anymore. This dude had been spending most of his married time on his ranch in Montana, away from Kim and the kids. And now that she's moved on-- he says he wants to stay married to her. And on top of that? He just bought a $4.5 million mansion in Hidden Hills, CA. Across the street from his soon-to-be-ex wife.

Perhaps you shouldn't have had such loose-lips, which embarrassed your entire family, and will come back to shame your children. Yes, your kids want you to stay together. Because, kids. But Kim isn't moved. In court papers:

"Irreconcilable differences have existed and continue to exist between [West] and me, which have caused our marriage to irretrievably break down. No counseling or reconciliation effort will be of any value at this time. There will be no prejudice to [West] if our marriage is immediately dissolved, especially given the fact that throughout our marriage, we adhered to the terms of our premarital agreement and maintained the separate property character of our assets.”

And on top of that? She's asked the court to declare her "single" while they work out custody.

Go write another record about all this and move on... And out of that new house!

Mr. Pig

12/24/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 24th, 2021:

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#3 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Well lookie who's raising his hand now? Only because the evidence cannot be disputed. You ARE the father! T-Dog admitted that he a "sporadic" (do you mean "sploogeradic", ongoing sexy time with Maralee Nichols. Who recently gave birth to a baby boy. But... Tristan isn't admitting the baby is his. Mmmmkay. He said in paperwork to counter paying child support:

“We did not have any dates in the traditional sense at any time; there were no dining at restaurants, going to movies, traveling or any other indicia of a normalized relationship. There was only Snapchats of 'where' and 'what time' we would hook up and what hotels would be used."

Right. You can't get pregnant from dinner, even if she was eating "meat". Duh! Hookups unprotected can create a baby. Did you miss health class in junior high?

We'll see who's the papa. Right, Tristan?

#controlledbyhissnake

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#2 BEN AFFLECK

Oh, Ben. You were looking so good until you opened your mouth and threw shade at your ex, Jennifer Garner. Their marriage ended on good terms. But Ben said he'd still be a drunk if he had stayed married to her. And then he left it at that without further explanation. What he claims he meant to say was this:

“We probably would’ve ended up at each other’s throats.I probably still would’ve been drinking. Part of why I started drinking was because I felt like I was trapped."

Ouch. Considering your ex-wife drove you to rehab-- even after your divorce-- and has been a stand-up kinda gal. This is shady. Because it sounds like she was the reason you have addictions.

Ben claims his words were misconstrued. And supposedly Ben's current Jen (Lopez) is furious at his loose lips. She doesn't like messy. And this is messy. A source said:

"They both agreed that they wouldn’t talk about their private lives in any depth after what happened last time they were together."

And JLo is trying to build a good relationship with Ben's kids. This doesn't help.

#onceadumbassalwaysadumbass

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#1 CHRIS NOTH

Well, it appears Mr. Big is Mr. Pig. And Just Like, as the Sex and the City sequel dropped-- so did allegations of sexual misconduct from three women... and a whole slew of stories about his alleged abuse and anger issues. A spokesperson for Noth denies any wrongdoing:

“The story is a complete fabrication, and the alleged accounts detailed throughout read like a piece of bad fiction. As Chris stated yesterday, he has and would never cross that line."

Zoe Lister-Jones, who encountered him while working on Law & Order, called him a sexual predator. And his ex-girlfriend, Beverly Johnson, got a restraining order against him after he:

“punched [her] in the chest and ribs”

And threatened to kill her. Allegedly.

His agent dropped him. A deal to sell his tequila line fell through. And his current wife is no longer wearing her wedding ring, and will probably spend the holidays without him-- as he's hiding out in New York.

Where there's smoke, there's fire.

#byebig

Smell It

12/17/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 17th, 2021:

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#3 SCOTT DISICK

Scott Disdick has decided to put aside his hostility (envy/jealousy) towards his ex, Kourtney Kardashian, and her fiancée Travis Barker, for the sake of their kids. Duh! Somebody ought to slap you... wait... that's what we're doing here... Gee, you just realized you need to be a big boy and man-up so your kids won't suffer your childish behavior. Because previously a source said:

"(at one point) he refused to be in the same room with Travis... he feels isolated like an outsider."

I'll say it again. She's with a better man. "Man" being the crucial word here...

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#2 JAKE PAUL

And now for another non-man. A shining example of why YouTube "stars' shouldn't be "stars" because most of them are asshats. Jakeass is all excited because he landed on Google's "Most Searched Athletes of 2021". First of all, a slap to Google for considering this snotcrust an athlete. Anywho, Tiger Woods was the most-searched athlete this year. And since Jake thinks he's a pro boxer, he wants to fight Tiger. He said:

"Looking like a Jake Paul vs. Tiger Woods fight in 2022."

Uh, no. Tiger has no time for your foolishness. Sit. Down. Better yet, TKO down. Somebody knock this rank dbag out!

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#1 JESSIE SMOLLETT

I. Can't. With this guy. At least a jury found him guilty on five of six felony counts of disorderly conduct. In January of 2019, he claimed two bigoted MAGA -loving men attacked him in Chicago. As a gay black man, he used his circumstance to draw attention to all of America's problems. Problem is, he staged the attack-- hiring two men he knew to help out.

This is absolutely repulsive and a slap in the face to those of us who have been on the receiving end of racism. It's insulting. It makes a mockery out of those who have suffered a hate crime. This makes the problem worse, and may make justice harder to garner for those who are true victims. Smelley faces up to three years behind bars and a $25,000 fine.

The criminal justice system makes examples of common people. Will he get the Hollywood Pass on this?

Duggareffer

12/10/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offenders for the week ending December 10th, 2021:

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#3 CHRIS CUOMO

Karma is big ol' nasty beyotch! And this disgrace to Italians is now unemployed. Gettin' the old sack-ola for trying to help his equally pube-y bro, Andrew, against sexual harassment allegations. Oh, and speaking of harassment... CNN received word that an unnamed woman retained an attorney and is coming forward to accuse Chrissy of sexual misconduct while he was at ABC.

Guess it's in the genes (jeans.)

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#2 TRISTAN THOMPSON

Perhaps Khloe Kardashian will be 100% done now with her baby daddy, since Tristan allegedly fathered a child born earlier this month. So let's do the math... carry the 1 and divide by... yeah, Tristan was gettin' busy with new baby momma while trying to reconcile with Khloe. In fact, TDog and Khloe were considering trying for another child together. Tristan is denying his paternity, but he sent this text to the mother of his newest child:

"If you think having this baby is gonna make you some money, you're completely wrong. You are aware that I'm retiring after this season. So in terms of support it will be whatever is required monthly for someone who is unemployed."

He then (allegedly) offered her a one-time payment of $75,000. Fortunately, this wandering wang will be on the hook for all the support. Because even though she got preggo while in Houston during Triscuit's 30th birthday celebration, she moved to Cali and then filed her lawsuit. Texas won't have jurisdiction. California will. Pay up, sucka!

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#1 JOSH DUGGAR

Touching underage humans-- including your own sister-- is just how you roll. And hopefully, your stank ass will roll right on into a prison cell. A witness for the prosecution in his child porn trial had the most explosive testimony. Bobye Holt testified that Josh confessed to her that he had molested young girls when he was a teen. The defense tried to say her memory was sketch, but she fired back:

"You don't forget something like that."

Boom. Yeah. Complete POS. There isn't a punishment severe enough for a child perv. None. Even ripping off your ween and beating you with it isn't enough. Like, burning in the 1-millioneth ring of hell isn't enough... Can't wait for your sentencing.

Dad. Joke.

12/3/2021

Offender for the week ending December 3rd, 2021:

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#3 WILL SMITH

For whatever reason, I'm no longer Team Will. And I don't know why... maybe I sensed this story and that's a part of it? Anywho, Willie is on blast- thanks to comedian Langston Kerman. But why, you may wonder... for Will's silly dad jokes that he posts on the IG. Guess the jokes aren't Will's. In fact, he supposedly hires other comics to write the jokes, then makes them sign NDAs. Langston said:

"I know so many comedians who had to sign NDAs to help Will Smith write silly dad jokes for Instagram, and now this n*gga is out here talking about throwing up from p*ssy poisoning. Rich people are wild."

If you're scratching your head over this reference, Will just released an autobiography in which he admitted that he had sex with so many women that he developed a "psychosomatic reaction" to reaching the Big O, saying:

"It would literally make me gag and sometimes even vomit."

Well, some women have bat caves that are musty...

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#2 KATIE THURSTON, Reality TV Star/The Bachelorette

It's so amusing that people think they can find true love on a reality TV show. Love is hard (so to speak) to find IRL. But Katie gave the college try and found her fiancée Blake. For a hot minute. Cuz she done moved on to another bachelor from the same season, John Hersey. Who she sent home in week two. But they remained friends, and now are a thing. And Blake didn't see it coming:

“I really don’t think there was any physical cheating there, but there [was] clearly emotional [cheating] for it to transition as quickly as it did. I feel stupid and foolish for allowing it to happen, to some degree... I know they spent a lot of time together and stuff but there's just no way. I never had an inkling. I am just a very secure guy and I give my trust out 100 percent, especially to the person who I should be trusting the most."

Those Reality Steve rumors that Katie was spotted at the bar that John tends were true. Perhaps he was tending her hair bar, too. We'll see how long this one lasts. Because after watching the episode where we met Katie's mom and aunt, Blake is better off. Those two ladies are def men-haters. I imagined the duo going on a dick-ripping-off spree and making a big weenie roast.

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#1 AARON CARTER

This dude defines messy. Like, look up the phrase "shit show" in the dictionary. His picture is there. At least in our dictionary it would be. He and his fiancée, Melanie Martin, have called it quits. Oh... she just gave birth to their son. A week ago. But she had it coming because she talked to Aaron's family-- whom he's estranged. Per Hot Mess Aaron:

“There has been a very big lie and my sister communicating w my ex fiancé [SIC] ruined everything considering she knew what angel tried to do to me in court thanks angel (Aaron's twin) you ruined my family. God bless... I have the most conniving deceiving family and Melanie has been lying to me the whole time communicating with my twin sister and the family members who tried to put me in prison and who tried to get a conservatorship on me in court."

Did you get all that? And... Melanie is supposedly taking their son, named Prince, to Vegas. Not to play the slots, though that wouldn't shock me, but to live-- sans Aaron.

But remember, he's not crazy. I've met him before. Perhaps he's just a skosh cray. Or a dump truck full...

Bull Sh*t

11/19/2021

Let's raise our slap hand and get this thing done!

Offender for the week ending November 19, 2021:

It's a rarity when it happens. Someone is so offensive, they take the crown solo. But here we are.

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#3, #2, #1 MICHAEL WEATHERLY

Sometimes I forget we're in the year 2021. A time and place where we're supposed to be evolved. Better. Not as douchey. But then there's the star/producer of the TV show Bull. And in 2021, women are still flaked over if they take a stand. Eliza Dushku was fired from the show after she went to the big-wigs at CBS Studios to file a harassment complaint against Weatherly. What happened to her? Let's spill.

Testifying before a congressional committee that was formed to consider legislation to eliminate forced arbitration clauses in employment, consumer, and civil rights cases, she shared her arbitration story-- and being fired in silence.

"I suffered near constant sexual harassment from my co-star. This was beyond anything I had experienced in my 30-year career."

She was referred to as "legs", and Weatherly would "smell her and leeringly look her up and down." Weatherly also told her that he and his buddy wanted to have a threesome with her. But if that weren't disturbing enough. This:

"Off script in front of about a hundred crew members and cast members, he once said that he would take me to his 'rape van' and use lube and long phallic things on me, and take me over his knee and spank me like a little girl."

What in the actual f*ck? When is it ever funny or acceptable or cool to joke about rape? It's funny to force a human being to do things they don't want to do, and to damage one's psyche for ever?

This anal hair then went to the head of CBS Studios and told him that Eliza had a "humor deficit" and didn't want her on the show. And he got his way.

When is the Boys Club going to be dissolved. What's sad is that this occurs in many workplaces. I know this for a fact. And arbitration is in just about in every entertainment contract. I also know this for a fact. So glad she stood up for herself, despite the consequences. I've been there, too.

Michael Weatherly is a complete POS who should be castrated, slapped with his micro ween, then set ablaze. At minimum. And this f*ck towel has daughters. I guess he'd be okay with his daughters being treated like this, right? Hope they don't encounter someone's "rape van."

Swagless

11/12/2021

Offender for the week ending November 12, 2021:

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#3 SCOTT DISICK

This fool thinks if he keeps in good with the Kardashian/Jenners, he might get another shot at Kourtney. HA HA HA HA! He says he considers Kris Jenner to be a second mom to him, and that he gets along well with everyone-- except Kourtney.

Well, her opinion matters most. And she ain't leaving Travis Barker-- a real man. Just go back to age-inappropriate dating.

A little poem for you:

Disick
Is a dick
Not so slick
Go find a pole to lick

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#2 JEFF BEZOS

Jeffy was just kidding, but you know a part of him was serious when he took a shot at the luscious Leo DiCaprio. Jeff and his lady love, Lauren Sanchez, were at some soiree where Leo was. And he was lookin' F-I-N-E in a tux. Lauren was alllll into Leo, and as he turned to walk away, it looked like she was going to grab his hand and follow. Well, Barstool Sports posted video of the exchange with the caption "Leo is Mr. Steal Yo Girl."

In response, Jeff posted a picture of himself standing by a sign that read: "Danger! Steep Cliff Fatal Drop" with the caption: "Leo, come over here. I want to show you something."

Look, Bezhos. You have more money than Leo. It's cool. Go ride your penis rocket to space. It'll be okay.

A little poem for you:

Sad but true
You got the bag
But Leo got swag
Boo hoo

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#1 YE, formerly known as Kanye West

I've slapped this dude so many times, but he doesn't seem to learn. I actually feel sorry for him as he's going through a lot. Name change; marital status change. Reports came out months ago that these two are, indeed, getting divorced-- and that everything had been settled. Now, Ye claims he's never seen any divorce papers, and that he wants to stay together with Kim Kardashian. He's blaming the media, and streaming service Hulu for the breakup of his family:

"I wanna pull my family back together... It's MY family, Hulu."

What the eff does that mean? Perhaps you shouldn't have run off to your ranch in Montana for months at a time while your family was in L.A. Methinks he's just upset Kim's bumpin' uglies with Pete Davidson. I mean, I'd hurl too, but... you have your own little hook-up action going on...

A little poem for you:

Ye Ye
Go away
Change your name to
Overplayed

Different Direction

11/5/2021

Offender for the week ending November 5, 2021:

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#3 HARVEY WEINSTEIN

There really is no room for people like Harvey Weinween on this planet. You know the type-- asshats that terrorize people; sexually harass people; threaten people. You might even work with someone just like this, sadly. Continuing to prove what a large, steamy POS this guy is, the story that Harvo effed-over the late Robin Williams. According to Kevin Smith, Weenerstein purposely pulled "Good Will Hunting" from theaters early so that Robin wouldn't get too much money from his back-end deal. Kevin said:

"It was like, 'Wait. There's all this Oscar buzz, so why would you pull it if it was just making money? They did it because keeping it in theaters meant that more of the money would go to Robin, whereas the moment it went to video, the split wasn't Robin-heavy. It was hamstrung because (of) greed."

The film made over $225 million and won two Oscars.

Is there a place worse than hell for him to burn in? Or should he get some good ol' Old Testament Justice, first?

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#2 KIM KARDASHIAN

Kimmy. You've left behind one ball sack. Don't run into the bowl of another-- meaning-- stay away from Pete Davidson! This dude is a known wang slinger! There is no flesh ride in the world worth the grief. The two have been spotted holding hands, and they're trying to play that "we're just friends" line that nobody ever believes. A source says:

"No one really knows what's going on with Kim and Pete. They are just friends right now, but things could turn romantic."

I still cannot figure out what the attraction is. Maybe he runs the best game ever, because he just got done with Bridgerton's Phoebe Dynevor. He's got so many notches on his bedpost, the bedpost broke. Maybe he's trying to one-up John Mayer?

Anywho, make sure that man-ho wraps it. Do. Better... Literally.

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#1 ZAYN MALIK

You shouldn't try to resolve conflict with shoving the grandmother of your child. But... Zayn has an anger issue, apparently. Yolanda Hadid, mother of Zayn's on-again-off-again GF Gigi Hadid, says Zayn struck her last week. Zayn says it's not true:

"I adamantly deny striking Yolanda Hadid and for the sake of my daughter I decline to give any further details."

Look. Yolanda may have been a part of the Real Housewives of Orange County at one point, but she's not a drama queen. She's always been the voice of reason. So, methinks the accusations are true. Enough so that Gigi has met with lawyers to arrange custody because, unfortunately, "Zayn will have to be a part of her (the baby's) life."

Zayn and Gigi have been toxic from day one. Time to move in a different direction. Hope you learned your lesson Malik The Deek. Or just keep being a "dick".

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PrettYe Woman

Massengil Time

Ending on a Low Note

Mr. Pig

Smell It

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Dad. Joke.

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Swagless

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